Never stops hurting

No matter how many times I see it happen, seeing my friends doing an activity we all loved together without me hurts. Even though I know it's impractical pretty much all the time since I live so far away...but like...it still hurts. It was an activity we all LOVED to do, it really bonded us and brought us together, so to see them doing it without me- without an invitation- really hurts.

I know I've said no more times than I care to admit, and I know since I hate driving, it means a lot of coordinating and picking me up at the bus stop.

And even though I should be used to it...it still hurts that I feel as though I don't have any friends and am only ever rarely included as an afterthought.