Need help

First of all, @DreamHope let me say how sorry I am that you

I can not stop eating my emotions away and I've lost a lot of weight but I keep eating my emotions away and I'm so afraid that I'm going to gain back the 85 pounds that I've lost. I haven't gained anything yet and it's been over a year but all I do is eat my emotions and stuff them down with food sometimes healthy food sometimes unhealthy food, does anybody have advice how to stop this binge eating of emotions? I've tried OA doesn't work for me

Thanks guys

Today I tried. I tried not to procrastinate and get my work done so I'd have less to worry. I tried to do my best.

I couldn't do it.

The depression kept coming, it was worse this time. I ignored it and continued working, but as I did my schoolwork it kept on pointing out the flaws I made. I couldn't find much joy and happiness anywhere, just felt lonely, empty, sad, hollow and the back-breaking pressure.

I tried to fight back. It won and it became stronger.

I'm so tired now. Physically, mentally, spiritually. I want to rest and take a break. To feel some purpose to live in this world where your accomplishments and strengths are overlooked and flaws are the only thing a person is made of. Everything I did was worthless. I am pathetic. I wish I could have some acknowledgement for doing my best and fighting depression but no one gives me that. I'm tired. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I just want to rest. I just want to cry.

But I still have to. The society doesn't allow depression.

I need to learn to trust again. After it's been shattered by someone else and then broken in one area with the next... How do I try to allow that person who broke part of it to redeem themselves and allow myself to allow them to gain it back? This person means so much but i dont know how to do this. 😕😢