My mind
I feel like I’m constantly running in a circle without any escape. I hurt the ones I love so they don’t hurt me. I don’t know how to escape from my endless thoughts. My parents think I am perfectly ok. Nothings ever happened. They won’t let me go to therapy and this is my only escape. My boyfriend was my escape yet now I’m scared to talk to him scared of he’ll hurt me or I’ll hurt him. He’s scared as well. I’m scared to go back down the hole I was in. I’m scared that I’ll try again. The only thing stopping me is slowly fading away. I’m tired and scared. Fighting and screaming is all day long. I have no one to talk to no friend no family no one besides my boyfriend. And I’m slowly losing him as well. I’m scared to be alone again for I know the outcome. I can’t do this alone. But that’s what is starting to happen.
@Baytova
I'm so so so so sooo sorry to hear about thos difficult time. The pain right now seems endless, like you're going in circles and I get that. That defence mechanism you have to sting before you get stung. Pushing others away before they have a chance to hurt you, which just ends up damaging relationships in the long run. But not being able to help it. Wanting healthy emotiona; relationships but then feeling them slip out of your hands over time. Wanting them, but then your actions show otherwise. It's so very hard indeed. I'm so so sorry again. It's hard when we don't know where to look. Who to turn to. How to help ourselves. Thank you for sharing your immense struggle with us. A burden shared is a burden halved. Thank you.