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Lost
Portalkitty May 11th, 2017
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I wish instead of people saying stupid cliches about happiness, i had someone who could give me a map and a way to get out of this maze of emotions that is depression. I have one consultation every 4 weeks, i wont get CBT until they decide im in the "right mindset" and they wont give me medication saying "it takes 8 weeks to get things sorted" when really they're just scared i'll overdose again. It feels so inconsistent just like its someone doing what they can to humor me i want to feel like someone wants to help me. The only thing anyone's worried about is why i did it, i didnt want to die but i just wanted to give up its been 8 years and im so tired of it, but im selfish for not thinking of anyone else and "my life isn't my own", when do i get to think about myself? When do i get to do what i want?

I just feel so pathetic and lost, i just want to give up.

3
blueocean45 June 13th, 2017
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@Portalkitty Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think it's a very brave thing to discuss. I'm sorry that you are feeling so lost. It's amazing that you are able to name that feeling and it's completely valid. It has to be frustrating knowing what you want to do but having to wait for the medical system to catch up to you. If you ever need to talk, me and many listeners are ready and very interested in supporting you through this time.

sunsetLion15 May 11th, 2017
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@Portalkitty dearest kitty, i am so sorry you are feeling so low about yourself and your life. I cant imagine what you have been through to feel so less towards life. I want to let you know we are here for you and you can PM if you really want to open up and discover options for taking care of yourself. Sending a bag of kindness, love sunset :)

KingdomWorker June 14th, 2017
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@Portalkitty I along with many listeners here have been exactly where you are right now. That is why we are here to 'walk' beside members like yourself during these difficult times of life. Please reach out to one of us for some heartfelt communication. -Stay Strong!

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