Let's Talk Medication
Hi! If any of you are taking medication for depression, or are considering it or have in the past, share your story here!
I feel like sometimes there can be a stigma against people who are on medication for a mental illness, or any condition, that is. But I also know that some people who are considering medication worry about it, scared it might change them or think taking medication will make them appear as "weaker." I've encountered many people who have had these feelings; however, for me it was different.
Going through middle school, my symptoms of depression became present (my anxiety symptoms were always there, but were taken as shyness). It took me 4 years to realize I had depression, I always thought I just had anxiety, and me and my family never considered the possibility of depression. It wasn't until I started college in person (I was online schooled until then) that I had intense anxiety through the day and my depression was worsening. I caved and I told my mom I needed to start medication. I viewed medication as taking control of my depression and anxiety, and while things are still difficult at times and I struggle, I was lucky to find the right medication for me first time and it has greatly improved my life: when I look back at my life before, I see how much my anxiety and double depression affected my life and my relationships with the people around me, and I'm glad to have a simple pill to say "Take that depression."
I am going to a doctor in few weeks and the psychologist I went to did say the doc might prescribe some antidepressants to me. I'm not against medication and I don't think it makes anyone weaker but I do have my fears about taking them. What if they make me so depressed in the beginning that I just can't take it, what if it takes too much time to find the right ones that work for me and meanwhile everything will get worse, what if I get too numb or won't feel like myself anymore? It has helped me when I read some stories of other people and watched some videos on YT about other experiences and one woman described antidepressants as if it made the fog and all those negative thoughts move out of the way so she could see more clearly. I know this is what I need too, because I overthink a lot, I make myself more sad and depressed with the thoughts and sometimes it feels like I just need some kind of on/off button for my thoughts. I feel like therapy wouldn't do that to me without meds but at the same time it feels scary.
@errtz
I totally understand. I was afraid that my medication would make me more depressed, too. What I would suggest is if you start to have those symptoms, where you feel as if it's getting worse, I would contact your doctor immediately and probably stop taking the medication.
The wait and toll of trying new medications can be exhausting, but I think once you find the right on for you, it's worth it.
I take Cymbalta (duloxetine), along with some other people I know, and it's been one of the best medications for us. However, it is for both anxiety and depression, so it might not be enough. If you go the route with this medication, I would suggest maybe talking to your doctor about starting a booster in addition to it if you find that it, or whatever medication you start, isn't just quite enough.
i was on 200mg of zoloft for 1+ year or so. i gradually stepped down from it but i'm considering going back on.
it took a long time for my body to adjust to the medication. i started with 25mg dose and worked up to 200 mg over the course of about 3-6 months. all under the supervision of a psychiatrist of course.
i've struggled with this most of my life. i wish it would go away.
I have taken some different SSRIs and SNRIs in the past. Right now, I'm not on anything. I think its been about a year since I have taken any medication.
I've always had anxiety problems throughout my life, but it wasn't until my late twenties when I started having issues that I feel I couldn't solve on my own, i.e. depression sucks. It was triggered by a loss of a job and a breakup. It sucked really bad. I felt so lonely and useless.
It took me a lot of experimenting with different meds to find one that worked. I stopped taking it because I felt that I could handle what life was throwing at me and also I felt that i having a weird reaction to my med. It was making feel apathetic? I dont know if it was all in my head though. Anyways, im doing better now. I saw a therapist 1-2x a month, and sometimes still do depending on the month.
I still have no idea what my future holds, but im taking it one day at a time! I also workout a lot now. It helps.
@BillieJean10
Thank you for bringing up this topic. Although I have never taken medications for depression, I was recommended. But I did have this feeling of..shame being at the point that I'd have to take medications to get better and that I was weak not to be able to get better on my own. There is this stigma attached to it, but now I think medications can be very helpful and useful.
@talkswithariba
Yeah, I totally get that. I had a pretty bad day yesterday with anxiety and had a panic attack, and I was suggested to take my medication for it and at first I didn't want to; it was just a little panic attack, right? And I could get through it myself, but honestly it didn't get better until I took that pill. And it sounds silly, a little pill can you feel better. But all that medication offers for people like us is to be able to be close to normal, like everyone else. It isn't a weakness to take control of a disadvantage you were given, it just brings you to the level "you're supposed to be at." My mom said medication isn't a weakness, it's a weapon. You are taking control of this thing that has held you down, you're not letting it have that much power over you anymore, and to me, that is strength.
And of course, if you have a mental illness and you don't want meds and you want to do it on your own, that is completely okay too and I don't shame that. Fighting this battle everyday makes all of us warriors. We all just have different shields and swords. But together we're an army.
I have gone through so much different tablets this year that I had to make a list to keep track. I tried over 17 different ones and only ONE combination ever worked...then it no longer did. I feel like the doctors at clinic don't know what else to do, but they are really supportive.
I had to stop working for a while because I got so sick and now I'm really bored at home just existing. (Being partially on lock down because of the virus as well as having no money.)
I'm just grateful to at least be able to sleep now, if nothing else.