Laziness or depression?
Hi. Hope someone out there can give me some advice on how I can deal with what I'm going through. I'm a 29 year old female, been out in the workforce for only about 4 years, I get anxious in social settings so any advice on seeking help or talking to someone is gonna be a real challenge for me.
Lately I've been feeling rather down in the dumps. It's been going on for several months now. The last time I felt this way, I quit my first job cause I was constantly thinking of leaving and I knew I could do better elsewhere. I found a new job, loved it for the most part, but the workload is greatly more than my previous job and a lot of learning is done on the job and self research. I feel like I'm bogged down with tasks whether minor or major and have difficulty getting them done especially when new things come in and throw me off.
In my mind I see it as myself not being responsible enough to deal with my work promptly. Every morning I wake up thinking of the list of things I have to get done for the day but I never manage to get most of them done, even if they were just the little things and when I come back from work, all I want to do is just sleep and that's exactly what I do until the cycle repeats again the next day.
I feel that my family expects me to perform well and I do not want to disappoint them. Taking a sabbatical or finding a new job is not an option in the current climate of the industry I work in either. I keep telling myself to just push through and do the best I can but everyday I get anxious about having to turn up for work.My mind is constantly on overdrive telling me to pick myself up and shake off whatever it is that is holding me back from doing my job. Thinking about having to go to work tomorrow gives me chest pains and a headache. I don't feel that I have depression but if it's not depression, I can't explain how I got from someone who prides herself in getting work done efficiently to the person that I am now.
Hi Shadow.. This is my first time here, and my first time posting anything in a forum, so please excuse any faux pas I may make.
Firstly, reading what you have written, you are not lazy at all! So try and let go of that thought!!
From my (long) personal experience of depression, saying all you want to do is sleep, and finding it difficult to complete tasks can be indicative of depression. I resisted medication for 3 years, but the first thing I noticed when I adjusted to anti depressants- and I'm not suggesting you need them- I found myself thinking clearer than i had in a long time!!
Talking to someone, using mindfulness techniques and meditation also helped me.
I understand you may find it difficult to talk to someone, however, if you've been feeling like this for a few months, it may be better to address it sooner than later. The longer you leave it, the longer it can take to recover.
Depression can creep up on you, so if you have a feeling that you are, could you start by visiting your local doctor?
It sounds like you have external pressures eg your family, and internal pressures, you wanting to do a good job. Do you have a close friend/sibling you can reach out to?
Anxiety and depression are good friends, and can quite often manifest together. Which is another thing to consider.
Be kind to yourself, take each day, each hour as it comes. And if you can, reach out to a counsellor or doctor.
Im in Sydney Australia, if you are too, I can refer you in a couple of good directions.
Its wonderful that you've reached out here!! That is really positive step :)
@Bodhisattva8 Thanks for the response. I've been talking about my concerns with my best friend. She doesn't know how to help. It's not a commonly discussed issue and even how to get professional help is rather vague though not impossible. Our only option is probably the government hospital cause I don't think we have any private centers dealing with mental health.
I've stopped myself from reaching out to my best friend about the issues I face especially about work cause I feel like I'm being whiny like a child and I don't want to drag her mood down either because at times I end up in tears about issues that shouldn't hit me that hard though I'd just write it off as hormonal imbalance and at times I get really angry or annoyed and she'd be the only one receiving the brunt of my outbursts. But I do feel that holding myself back when all I want is to talk about the issue is adding to the depression because I don't have someone to talk to. But I really can't bring myself to cause my parents or my best friend to worry. I guess that's why I finally reached out here on 7 cups where I've been lurking through forums for the past month.
Guys... Planning on seeing a doctor tomorrow. Any suggestions on what to say to the receptionist when they ask what's wrong? Dont exactly have the best healthcare here and they normally seem rather skeptical of your illness especially when you look perfectly fine on the outside
Hi @Shadow710! I'm glad that you reach out to this community.
I don't think receptionist should inquire about your medical problems. Your health is a personal matter and its details stay between you and your doctor. You are not obliged to tell anything. But I know that sometimes you can feel pressured, so you can always say that you're seeking medical advice or are here for consultations.
I'm proud of you that you decided to seek professional help. I know how much bravery it requires. Let us know how it went. Best wishes!
I think I can relate to this... I'm supposed to finish the holiday homework assigned but I can't get started... There's this constant feeling of sadness and I feel so tired for no reason at all... I feel I'm not as competent as my classmates
Am I stupid, lazy, or... what?
@DreamHope, I can completely relate to this overpowering, crippling feeling. You're not lazy or incompetent, lovely - you feel scared and inadequate, because everyone around you seems to do alright.
Starting to work when you feel so anxious, it's really hard, but it's not impossible. I recommend you reading this community guide to help you understand the emotion. Also, maybe connect with a listener on 1-on-1 chat to help you brainstorm the ideas how to ease the pain of doing do your homework? What makes you feel calm? Maybe you can do that activity for 10-15 minutes before working and then immediately start doing your homework, even for one minute only. For now, the most important thing it's to just start, no matter for how long.
You are not stupid. You have a lot to overcome. Have you consider talking to someone about your stress? I know being honest can be terrifying, but from my own experience it can solve the problems and there are people around you who will help you - even if it doesn't seem true at first.
Sending you my strength and best wishes - we are here for you.
*hugs*
Hey @shadow710, hope you're feeling better. That was a brave share, you should feel proud that you made that leap to reach out. I can relate to your post, and you did a very important thing by seeing the doctor. Just wanted to say, if you need to talk it out, I'm here for you. It's normal but unfortunate that those who suffer from this feel that they'll be bringing down the ones who care by talking about it. It's a valid concern and there is some truth to it. It's a delicate situation and needs to be handled as such. Definitely send me a message if you want to connect, and I'll reply as soon as I can. Schedule is all over the place, but i will surely respond. Take care and feel better. You can beat this!