I've been really desprate lately.

I know exactly how you're feeling.. I recently failed an exam for uni, which was my freedom from my very unsupportive mum and a scarcely cat dad. I was also diagnosed with depression the year before, wwhich lead me to having to move back home where I had no friends (high school friends turned out to be people I'd rather not associate with), my family who although say they are not disappointed in me (actually are).. and like you said the loneliness and disappointment just consumes you. I recently broke up with my bf of 8 years.. and I'm aching to say the least. But I'm slowly picking myself back up, taking a different route in life.. step by step.. I started working out so that I have a routine and I also want to better myself and not let my depression take over. I started looking for an apprentiship so I don't have to go back to being tormented by my mum. There will always be a route for you to walk, a person who care about you. And if you feel you have no friends to trust.. well you have me, I will be your friend

Well sounds like you've achieved much and done well for yourself, I haven't done half the things you've stated. My life has been nothing but disappointments and I wish I could go back to the start and pick a completely different family. It's just too much to deal with these days and I have no one to turn to.