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It's starting again
silenceofturtles56 February 6th, 2015
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This hasn't happened for a while, but this whole week I've been in a mood and I honestly think it's my depression coming back. I can tell all my built up stress is pooling out, but instead of crying and feeling it all, I just feel numb. I have these thoughts that make me feel like crap and they scramble my mind. The only light I can see myself in is a negative one. I look on the mirror and think I'm fat and useless to everyone; only here to waste space. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, it's just how I honestly feel. My mom is angry each day towards me and nags about my every action. Both my parents are complaining about money and pushing me at a job (which is reasonable since I'm almost 18, but they're rude about it). I have the pressure of graduating high school in three months and I'm worried about college. There's an issue from my past weighing on my mind and it has me remembering everyone who has walked out on me ever; and believe me, there's a lot. This anxiety is horrible and I'm really hoping to avoid having an anxiety/panic attack like I normally have, so I thought reaching out for once may actually help. I don't want to sink back into the depression I finally got out of last year.

7
RecoveryisReal February 11th, 2015
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That sounds like a lot to deal with! I am really proud of you for reaching out here though as that is the first step to getting the support you deserve! It can be really frustrating when depression and anxiety return, but you can get through this :)

whyme11 February 11th, 2015
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@silenceofturtles56, i can see how you could be stressed out with trying to finish high school, parents pushing you to get a job, and concerned with college. I can also understand thoughts of being worthless but i can assure you that youre not useless or a waste of space. We are all here for a reason and are special in our own ways. There is no one else like you, youre one of a kind. If that is your picture on your post, i can honestly say that there is no way that youre fat!!

silenceofturtles56 OP February 11th, 2015
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@whyme11 Thank you so much for your comments. Everything you said is an encouragement that I rarely find myself recieving. Also yes, that is my picture. You've boosted my confidence!!!

silenceofturtles56 OP February 11th, 2015
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@RecoveryisReal It does stink, but thank you for the push to get through it. The support is much appreciated!

RecoveryisReal February 11th, 2015
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no problem! Take care <3

Freespirit16 February 11th, 2015
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You should be proud of yourself for trying to recover, everyone relapses during recovery, you just have to keep fighting x

silenceofturtles56 OP February 11th, 2015
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@Freespirit16 I will try to

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