Isolation/Social Withdrawal
Hi there everyone!
I'm interested in starting a conversation about isolation and social withdrawal with anyone who is comfortable sharing.
I'd like to hear your thoughts and experiences regarding this aspect of depression, hopefully to create a sense of peace for one another that we are not alone in how depression affects us and our relationships.
How does isolation and withdrawal manifest in your life or look for you individually? Why do you think you isolate yourself? What is the affect that isolation/withdrawal has on you and your condition?
I will begin by sharing how isolation and withdrawal looks in my life because of my depression...
Recently I have noticed that my isolation habits have gotten more severe.
I have deleted most of my social media platforms and other means of communication, I avoid responding to texts and phone calls, I avoid having to interact with my housemates, I have a difficult time interacting with the child I work with, and have even stopped keeping in touch with my closest friends.
I consider my withdrawal a defense mechanisms or a form of self-protection. I feel that people expect or require too much energy and emotional investment. I don't feel I have the resources to react emotionally to peoples lives nor the energy to be engaged in social interactions. Therefore, I isolate to avoid the stress and disappointment altogether.
I'll add too... depression has caused the spectrum of emotions I generally feel to shrink so significantly that I don't even feel bad about not talking to my best friends most of the time. And every time I do reach out... or reinitiate contact... I feel worse again. Thus, I have become very devotedly withdrawn.
@Sjr I can totally relate to your post. I feel like it's taking over my life I mean, I have these goals and things I want to accomplish and then I never get the strength and courage to to them outside the house it's destroying my life I don't know if it's depression or something else
@JmylBBR
likewise I feel like it is taking over my life
i have very little desire to really maintain any kinds of relationships.
i feel too tapped out right now to have enough energy in me for that...
I am so sorry to hear how much it is getting in the way of the things you want to achieve. That is seriously heartbreaking and I feel so much for you.
it is a legitimate loss. It is a loss of relationship and connection as well as a loss of the ability to actual hopes and dreams.
i do hope there is improvement for us in the future and that we can find a way to overcome it or be set free...
I used to feel very depressed when I was younger due to not having many friends and problems with girlfriends. But one thing that does help is to stay confident about who you are as a person. Most of us tend to think that phases like this is a life long thing, but in reality it and a lot of other things can be changed. Another helpful thing I can suggest I suppose is that not letting your past define who you are helps a lot with self doubt, and if you're good enough to get the things you desire. Humans are incredibly adaptable to their surroundings, even the most unaware of us. so never lose hope and try to 'live for the now' as best as you can :)
Since my depression plays a big part in my emotional numbness, my inability to really care about people in general has led to most of the social isolation. Yes, I do still talk to people and my friends and my classmates, but I amnot very emotionally invested in relationships as I used to be.
An example of this would be this friend I have. Sometimes we meet up and chat and be very good friends, but then he can treat me like I am not even friends with him sometimes. Like strangers. Normlly that would upset someone but with me, i am finding it harder and harder to really care. Like 'Oh, I guess I am losing another friend, wouldn't be the first time.'. Its like almost complete apathy due to my normal emotions being suppressed. Its kind of scary and I don't know how to really fix it, but yeah. That's how it is with me now.
I tend to isolate myself from the love ones close to me mostly out of fear. I'm scared to comunicate how my depression works. Sometimes I need to be alone because the only way for me to get over my feelings is to meditate and pray. Which I prefer to do on my own. Other times I isolate myself even though the last thing I want to do is be alone. It's hard to go up to a love one and say, " I feel like crying." It's hard because they are going to ask why and sometimes the answer is "I just do." A lot of people don't understand that. The worse thing about depression is that sometimes there isn't an obivous answer to why I feel sad, angry, agitated, worthless, hopeless, and lonely. So instead of explaining why I am depressed and so forth, I isolate myself.
I don't consider my isolation as isolation exactly. When I'm at the bottom of my deepest depressive wells, I tell myself I'm not isolating for me (although I know that is a large part of it too). What I'm doing is quarantining myself to save others from the toxic poison I feel coursing relentlessly through me. I shut myself away to keep the contagion from spreading, from infecting and hurting those that have done nothing to "deserve" being so affected by it. It took me a long time to realize that this was how I felt about isolating myself, and it makes sense for me more than any other way of thinking about it ever has.
I'm shocked at how I kinda feel how you all guys feel. I'm not depressed or i actually don't know. I'm really confused with my emotions for a long time. But when I read this thread, I felt that someone knows how I feel. Just kept nodding while reading all these stuff you guys post. So thank you very very much
@Blueberrycheeesecake
This is so inspiring to hear. It is incredible to feel like you aren't alone. And while it doesn't take away the struggle it does make it a little less scary in that many other experience something similar (not exactly the same but very similar).
Thank you for speaking up and sharing that this meant a lot to you.
I hope it leads to new realizations and awareness and understanding of things about yourself. You deserve it!
My social isolation is much greater than I would prefer, as I'm utter crap at connecting with people. I must have been gone when the lessons on how to be social and make friends were scheduled. I'm also an introvert with some social anxiety which doesn't help. It gets frustrating when I try things like go to events and meet-ups and end up feeling invisible. Which in turn makes it harder for me to push myself to keep going out, but I know I won't meet anyone staying home. Unfortunately- I don't meet anyone with friend potential when I go out either...
Most of my socialing is internet based, and whilst its better than nothing- I really miss having real world friends to do things with- even just chat over a coffee.
@ForcefulCranberry
This is heartbreaking π
I am sorry that things are this difficult.
It can be extremely difficult finding quality friends. But it's definitely worth looking and not losing hope. Sometimes they show up in unexpected places.
You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but have you done any sort of CBT therapy for your social anxiety?
Social anxiety is a nightmare. I feel for you. π
It has and still is going on currently for the past two years, I just get stressed really easily and if my friends piss me off the least I will isolate myself, but everytime I do that everyone asks me if I'm ok, and honestly it's so annoying, you just want time to think through things and calm down. Last week I got really mad at my friend and I didn't see how angry I was at her and so I withdrew from them because I didn't want to hurt her anymore and I just needed fresh air as you could say it. We always come back togethrr I guess and they know when to leave me alone.
Hi, this is exactly what I have been struggling with. Staying cooped up in my apartment rather than going out and doing things.
I have isolated myself from everything I love. I feel like that's the only way to protect myself and my emotions. I tend to be more isolated on days when my depression and anxiety are really high like today. I find myself sleeping alot, more then normal. I know there must be some light at the end of all this.