I'm so tired of fighting
I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for most of my life. I've been struggling through grad school so I could get a decent job and try to finally support myself and I feel close to a nervous breakdown. I'm crying all the time, I feel like I'm ruining my GPA. My boyfriend broke up with me for not being more motivated and I don't blame him -- I wish I was those things too. People always tell me how strong I am, how brave and strong and I don't want to be strong anymore. I don't want to have to keep fighting. This is too hard. This hurts too much.
Sometimes I think I'm always going to be broken. I wonder if I should just accept it.
Hi @autoclave,
It sounds like you were overwhelmed, had a lot upon your shoulders and it sometimes happens that we lose our motivation due to stress. I'm sorry your boyfriend decided to leave, he shouldn't have when you needed him, don't take the blame upon yourself you were at a low moment. Perseverance means putting one foot in front of the other even if it drags. Don't get discouraged. The breakup is making things harder but that's temporary. Focus on yourself, be kind to yourself and you will see that everything will be ok.