I'm new here and I just can't live like this anymore

I was recently hospitalized, have been severely suicidal. I've tried over 20 meds, ECT, TMS, CBT, DBT. Little helps. I see my therapist twice a week, my psychiatrist once a week, group therapy, sites like this. I've done it all. My marriage is in trouble and we have a 12 year old son, so no matter how bad it gets suicide is pretty much out of the question. But that makes my depression even worse, I can't even use that as an escape. I feel totally alone because my wife has completely checked out, sick of being my caregiver and emotionally unavailable. I know other people feel the way I do, but it's not the same as getting support at home.

I can't live like this, I can't commit suicide and getting better is elusive. What am I supposed to do? I'm struggling really badly. I need help, but I don't know what else I can do that I haven't done already. I know these things take time, but I can't stand it. Please help! I need more support, friends who understand. I'm just lonely and lost

Thanks for listening

Josh