I’m new but the thoughts aren’t

I’m 26. Suffered from depression since my early teens. Have a job, a husbands day a beautiful daughter. Yet my thoughts are still the same. I can’t be left alone with them for more than 2 minutes. I hate who I am now. I love my daughter more than anything but I hate being a mother. I hate myself. This morning I looked at my old class mates (high school) social media platforms and I felt like I couldn’t breathe and took a panic attack. Why though? I have no idea. I just panicked. Cried a lot. And i am still struggling to breath. I feel so trapped. All I want is out of here. Out of this body and out of this mind. It’s getting to loud in there. My head is full but body and heart feels like and empty isolated shell.