I'm desperate for help
For a long time I've silently struggled with depression. I've wanted help for a long time too but have always been held back by fear. I'm terrified but desperate here. Things are only ever getting worse. Every day feels more miserable, I've fallen behind in school and recently decided to quit. I'm in grade 12 of high school and decided to do this for the sake of my mental health, but now I'm doubting myself and my future life. It's currently not too late. The school's reluctant to just let me quit, but I don't know what to do. I can't simply go back just to "stick it out". I'm know that if I do, my depression (and suicidal thoughts) will just get worse. I need support, persuasion. Can anyone help convince me to get professional help?
Hi calmCup. I'm sorry things have gotten so hard. I understand the desire to quit - and if it does come to that, you shouldn't beat yourself up. You can always go back. Is there a counselor at school who might be able to help you graduate - they could maybe reschedule exams or assignments or provide some other flexibility. Either way, if you can get help, I do think you should. Opening up may be terrifying but you can switch therapists if one isn't a good match. They can do wonders, even if it takes a while to see results.
I'm glad you're here and I hope things work out for you.
I went to see the school guidance counsellor briefly today in regards to quitting school. She suggested that I go to the doctors for a fake medical certificate so that I can avoid my exams that start tomorrow. After that it's the holidays and she wants me to rethink my decision by the time the next term starts. I'm thinking of messaging my Mum about my depression and my want to seek professional help. Unfortunately, my biggest struggle is actually talking about it. I've tried many times. Either the words just won't come out or I end up lying.
I think going with the counsellor's advice might be best. That way, you can put off your decision a bit longer.
Are you worried about your mum not understanding? Has she ever mentioned anyone's mental illness in the past, positively or negatively?
I did agree to the counsellor's suggestion. Not limited to my Mum, I'm afraid of telling anyone around me due to my fear of being misjudged/misunderstood. This is mostly influenced by my few past attempts to open up. I've been laughed at about it and ignored, I've had people jump to false conclusions, and I've had people just listen silently and forget. I've considered my options for seeking help. About a month ago I created a personal thread in the depression forum on 7cups. I've posted updates on that thread multiple times when I was feeling particularly down. I decided to try and show my Mum the thread. It's possibly the best way for me to describe how I've been feeling without clamming up.
Hi. I have written things down when I struggled to talk, either before or during a session. Therapists know how to help even people who don't know what to say. And I agree that you don't have to just stick with the first. Find one you click with.
Do what you need to do for your mental health calm cup. You know yourself best so if you really think that staying might lead to an unfortunate outcome then please take a break. People always say don't give up and I myself always say that, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a rest before you get back up again. Take as long as you need to feel stable. Did you know that studies are now finding that happiness leads to success rather than the other way around? By prioritizing your mental health you are not giving up. However this is too big a problem to tackle on your own so please take the help of trained professionals to give yourself the best chance of recovering faster. Good luck :)
