I feel like everyone close to me hates me because they know the 'real me'
I feel like everyone who gets close to me can't stand me. Back story-
My mum, sister, ex boyfriend and current boyfriend dislike me for the same reasons, apparently I'm inconsiderate, mean, aggressive, disrespectful etc basically I can't say anything nicely and I attack everyone around me.
So those are all the people who know me best and if they think that of me how can I have confidence. Clearly they're right about me, however what I'm not okay with and what I don't think I deserve is how they treat me because of it, I get yelled at and no support or kindness and caring from them, it's almost like they're all special fed up of me and how I am that any feelings of care and compassion are long since dead. I can't take it anymore being at war in my head whether I deserve to hate myself and be treated as such or if I just pick them bad and need to get out. Each time I try to resolve whatever I've done to upset people it's met with such hostility and closed off-ness and I don't know how to talk to them. I try explaining I'm depressed and down and I get the general attitude of 'yeah well if you want support you should be nicer to the people you want support from'
How do I learn to love myself while either I am the bitch or they are for being unsupportive?
@Thebriarpatch
This is a lot to put on your own shoulders! What strikes me is that you use the words "I am" ,, disrespectful,agressive, ect. No one IS all that! If you really do want tro understand why you, at least seem, to be that way in the eyes of others (especially those who care about you) - I would ask them for a specific example of what it is that you DO that makes that true-- or not. For instance, they might say "you interupt me when I try to make conversation" . Then you can honestly look at that example and ask yourself if that is true, and if so, what can you do about it? You might ask for their help, for instance say "the next time I do that, can you point it out to me- I'm not really aware of it sometimes". This is just an idea. I'm not a Listener or a Counselor, just a member who is On Your Side! I am cheering for you to feel better about yourself soon.
@MusicCandy
Thank you for your support. I find it hard to get s response when they're still mad at me and when they've calmed down I'm afraid to bring it back up incase they get annoyed again and I just can't take it anymore. Everyone being mad at me.
I'll try stay positive. Thank you again. It means more than you can know.
