I feel like I don
Hi...
As the title suggests, I feel like I dont exist. I watch movies, shows, I read books, I write books, I talk to people, I understand a lot about why Im so depressed, but one thing has been bothering me for a long time:
Will I ever really exist?
To me, my characters fantastical worlds feel so much more real than mine. I write books and Im happy, but then I remember that Im not, and that my world will never be what I want it to be. I do my absolute best to improve this place, but its never going to be the same.
How do I feel real without feeling depressed? What will ever make this world worth living in? And... and how can I make friends with people when I dont trust them enough to tell them anything?
I need a friend... and I need to exist... but Im not sure Im ready for the harshness that reality is sure to bring with it.
@StrugglingIzzy12 I'm guessing that you read well since you're a writer. What has helped me is reading something that focuses specifically on life and reality. There are 66 books put together that weave the purpose of life into a whole unit. Try reading the book of Ecclesiastes or Revelations or John. They work wonders
@StrugglingIzzy12
I've suffered and enjoyed a rampant imagination my entire life. I'm no longer young now, though. I'm willing to admit that those wondrous journeys that my inner theater devises are just that - In my head. Reality can be just as beautiful if you're willing to believe it is. But the loneliness, it's always there. Why? Because that's how we feel real. Through others. When we're reaffirmed, when we're told good things and praised, that's when we feel the most real.
But we need to be willing to accept what's real. It's hard. Might be the hardest thing people ever do in their lives. You may never be able to make the real world as fantastical as it is in your writing but you can carry the greatest your characters have to offer with you in life.
I hope we can find our friends soon. You're not alone in your search.
@Gunch this is really important! maladaptive/excessive daydreaming is beautiful and terrible and it's important to feel real. <3
@StrugglingIzzy12 hi,
i understand how you feel so much. i lose sense with reality because i'm so stuck in my head and in my sadness. i feel like the body i have isn't real because the only real me is in my mind. today i literally fell backwards because i was so distant from reality. i want to say you're not alone and i'm here to talk.
-mirren
@StrugglingIzzy12
You are worth it. The pain you are going through matters, and you are stronger for it. Reality, whatever it is, will seem scary because it at times is uncharted territory. Your facsination with books could be a good way to get to know people, and the fact you read a book, means you have already connected with an author. I hope this message helps.
