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  3. I don't believe it gets better?

I don't believe it gets better?

rustlingtrees March 3rd, 2019
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My therapist and people say if I just keep doing the things that I'm doing like exercising more and socializing and whatever that I'll start feeling something but I've limited caffiene and alcohol... been exercising a bit more... not been great at socializing and maybe I feel a little less worse sometimes... not good... but a different less intense shade of suckiness... still feel general suckiness. I can't really imagine not feeling that general suckiness. I mean depression never goes away, it's always lurking right? So, even if I do feel better it could come back and it probably will because relapse is pretty common.

I don't even know what to do. Not even sure how things are supposed to change. I've felt this way for so long. The process just seems so long and slow and hard and not even sure if it does anything. I mean I'll keep going through the motions as I always have but I just feel like I'll kinda just be this way forever. Just always have this darkness.... whatever it is in there.

2
crystalclearnow March 3rd, 2019
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@rustlingtrees

Hi rustlingtrees,

I understand where you are coming from. Some days have a higher level of suckiness than others. But I can see you are managing with ultra-healthy coping strategies, e.g. exercises, etc. You are doing great and there will come a time when you won't not feel so bad any more smiley

RarelyCharlie March 3rd, 2019
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@rustlingtrees I notice you started by mentioning your therapist, and you ended by mentioning "this darkness.... whatever it is in there."

Discovering and understanding what that darkness really is, and overcoming the source of it all, are what effective therapists do. Exercise, socializing and whatever are distractions from this work, and if all you do is distract yourself, then I agree with you that depression will lurk in your life forever as you keep going through the motions.

It's unclear why your therapist is encouraging distractions instead of engaging with the source of the darkness. Maybe this is something you can discuss with your therapist. Maybe they can change their approach once they understand what your goal is, or maybe they can recommend a different therapist. There are definitely therapists out there who know how to work with you to change things permanently by dealing with the source of the problem.

If you'd ever like to chat with me about these things, just click on my profile and message me.

Charlie

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