I don
I have a friend who suffers from clinical depression. He says to me that he fears that I may have clinical/severe depression too. Problem is, because of how I perceive things, I cant tell if I do have depression or Im over reacting to how my brain functions.
My symptoms are severe insomnia, where I tend to get 3-5 hours of sleep on most days, I am always tired (probably because I dont sleep), I constantly think about suicide or what it would be like if I were dead, and have what I call bad thoughts where I go and think up detailed plans on suicide and think Im worthless and stuff. I feel sad for good portions of the day. When I talk to people, I feel like Im being selfish, so I dont share my feelings with many. I dont see any therapists, nor have I tried, and I have never taken medication for it. I often lay down and feel unable to move. I just stop all motion. I dont permanently lose interest in things I like, but Ill grow disinterest for different amounts of time. I eat normally, but Im worried about my weight even though Im healthy and just barely normal, since I was underweight before. I will sometimes get really sad for no reason and even cry. I have always felt an underlying sadness, but its gotten a lot worse this past year. I keep putting off assignments and stuff, not because Im just lazy but because I dont have the energy or will to do it, or just dont care. At the same time, I have anxiety, which makes me care, so I freak out.
Sorry thats so long, but... any thoughts?
Based on the things you've listed, it sounds very similar to clinical depression though the easiest way to find out is a quick visit to a psychologist or psychiatrist. It is also common to have anxiety symptoms together with depression and it doesn't make your feelings an 'over reaction' or any less real.
It sounds like it is affecting not only your mood (crying and feeling sad) but your functioning as well (not wanting to get out of bed or do things). Your plans for suicide are also concerning. Please visit www.suicide.org and find your local suicide hotline if you ever feel unsafe or that you might attempt suicide.
If you're concerned about your symptoms, you can always try the 3 days free trial with the 7cups therapist, visit a local counsellor (at school or any other local resource), or even see a GP/doctor who can refer you to other professionals if needed.
@LilGreenBird I will try that then. I came on here because I don
@Miyako6
It's OK, thinking you might have depression can seem really scary and ridiculous at first. But you can always take control and talk to a trained professional as soon as you are ready. Remember,it is not shameful or 'stupid' to have depression/anxiety or talk to your school counsellor. It is their job to help afterall, and I fully support you seeking help. If it makes you feel more confident, perhaps you could bring a trusted friend who knows your situation with you to the counsellor for moral support.
If you ever need other resources or prep to see your counsellor, you can always message me (I'm a Listener) or use the following links:-
Depression self-help: https://www.7cups.com/depression-help-online/
Chatrooms: https://www.7cups.com/connect/groupChatrooms.php
Everything you've described sounds a lot like depression. And, more importantly, it sounds like a real problem. (Because the opinions of strangers on the internet are no substitute for a diagnosis, but it doesn't take a professional to see that you've described some very real mental health concerns.) I don't know what you can access, but in some areas there are low-cost or free resources that can provide help to people who can't afford regular treatment, so that might be worth looking into.
@Miyako6
We are definitely not professional psychiatrist nor psychologists here, so I can't give you a diagnosis of course. But I can say that you are a very brave individual to admit that you have an issue that you need help with. I can tell you that I also suffer with similar symptoms, and diagnosed with clinical depression. But please keep in mind that no two people are the same.
I am so sorry about the feelings of suicide that you are having. I have been there and I know the stabbing pain that it causes. But let me tell you that you are worth much more than the pain you are currently experiencing. Someone told me once that "This too shall pass", and it did, but not right away. If you plan on acting on these thoughts, please visit www.suicide.org and find your local suicide hotline to speak to someone one on one. You can also go to your local emergency room and they can treat you there.
If you would like to talk 1-1 with me, you can PM me and I will get back to you asap or you can book a free appointment. We do offer a 3day free trial with a liscensed counselor you might consider or check with your insurance to recommend a good doctor for you.
Remember, brighter days are coming, they are just slow right now.
