I am so tired ...
its 07:30 Boxing Day morning. The few decorations I put up are back in their box or in the bin, the tree is down, Santa and the Christmas wreath are gone from my front door and the cards are in recycling.
This Christmas has been the worst ever and the culmination of a bad year. I am too tired to carry on with this mess. The pain of exclusion (even by my kids, and they claim to love me) is too hard to endure.
Life shouldn't be like this. I am here, feeling like I am sat in a waiting room for the inevitable to arrive. I am happy now to "jump the queue".
Mike...although my situation is different, I have to say that I can relate. I hope the days get brighter for you, as we look into a new year.
If nothing else, know you're not alone.
Mike, I know how youre feeling. My dad had a lot to do with me having depression, ptsd, and a couple other things, as per my counselor. I hadnt spoke with him in about 6 months, he doesnt call me. I decided to call him Christmas afternoon to wish him a happy one. He talked to me for 2 minutes or less and told me that his family was calling and he had to go. Its hard to feel anything but the way you do when the people who are supposed to be there for you and love you arent.
Thank you for your words. Yes, my dad wasn't good for me either. And this year dragged my mind back to bad Christmases and times aftermy dad remarried and then chose to ignore me.