I

I wouldnt mind dying. Im so tired of being myself. Every glance in the mirror weakens my resolve. Sometimes it makes me cry. Obsessing over my appearance and constantly feeling incredibly ugly and worthless has made my life worse for the past few months. I dont know how to cope, I dont have a support system. I have a therapist but havent been able to see him in over a month, and he doesnt understand my obsession with my appearance and how it hurts me. I only have one person that I trust and I constantly feel alone and disliked. I am an outcast, people rarely acknowledge me or speak to me. Its frustrating. I feel ignored. Ive starved myself, developed belimia, exercised relentlessly, and hurt myself because of these feelings. I dont know what to do. I feel so helpless. The only things that relieve stress are crying and cutting myself. Ive been scratching my skin until I bleed. It is my way of punishing myself for existing. Im so tired of being emotional and I hate being trapped in this body. Why couldnt I have been born someone else? I hate myself. I hate my voice, my appearance, my personality. I feel so alone and helpless. I dont have the motivation to try anymore. Please help