I Love You Too - a poem about my depression

I wrote this poem a while back. I dont actually love my depression. What I love is the qualities that it has that I wish others would show me. For example, I would love someone that never left me no matter what and since depression seems to never leave, I love that characteristic even if I hate the way that it makes me feeling. Basically a toxic relationship. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

Depression

Depression is defined

As being severely sad

And having loss of hope

Depression is said

To come and go

It lingers sometimes

And heavy like cargo

A rainbow always comes after a storm

I'm told it'll eventually subside

But I'm cold and wet out here

And no ones home to let me inside

And it's been a month now

My screams for help continue to be denied

Left armed with nothing but a book

And a pen by my bed side

Depression looks at me every morning

And tells me how much he loves me

My secret toxic relationship

I think that I am beautiful but he disagrees

I whisper I am enough

But he disagrees

I say I am no less than anyone else

But he disagrees

I shout I am worthy of love

But he disagrees

I cry I am broken

He smiles and agrees

Depression is the first

And last thing I think about

A passionate lover to my thoughts

Not sure how long I can hold out

He cheats on me and leaves

But his presence stays

Because he'll come back

The one thing I know, is that he'll be back

Maybe depression will come back drunk

Stammering into my room

He'll brings back dead roses

And remind how dead roses are prettier than me

He seductively tells me

No one loves you like I do

I know you like being happy

But it doesn't occupy you like I do

Your father doesn't love you

And your mother doesn't too

He didn't think you was his

And she won't even stop smoking for you

I know what hurts you the most

All you want is your dads acceptance

For him to give a fuck for once

To not think of you less than

But darling he doesn't care

Your feelings are insignificant

I care even less but at least here for you

I told you I'm different

Depression is a sadist

He lusts after my pain

He gets high off of my tears

But he's the only sure thing I have

Depression keeps his promises of pain

He always comes back

And he's the only one who truly loves me

I hate that I love depression too