How to cope?

@DawnAurora97

If it's possible, opening up to someone you trust or finding ways to accommodate yourself around what you're struggling with can be super helpful!

I understand if you don't have people around you who you feel like you can tell, and if that's the case I'm really sorry, but you're not entirely alone - i promise!

I have clinical depression and i experience a *lot* of similar things you're going through right now it's hard but I really do believe in you - really wishing you good luck friend

@DawnAurora97

Hello dear friend,

I don't like social interactions either, so I quite understand what you mean when you said you never talked about your issues and why you didn't do it.
It is normal to feel empty and lost in all those thoughs, but look here you are reaching out for help, so I congratulate you from heart.
Here on 7Cups you have plenty of resources to go through alone without having to interract with anyone. There is also depression course that you can check out. Here is the link: https://www.7cups.com/depression-help-online/lesson1.html
However, if you choose to talk to someone about it, I would very gladly free my time to listen to you!
And if you have any questuons, feel free to ask.

@DawnAurora97

It's okay to be scared of doctors and therapists. You are not alone in your feelings. Music also helps me a lot and so does chatting with other people, even internet strangers. I feel sad or numb most of the time, to be honest. Sometimes, nothing helps. In those times, I try to journal even if it doesn't help and look back at my past entries.

@DawnAurora97

It’s really tough when you know you need to get out and about when all you want to do is isolate. Being by ones’ self feels safe and comfortable for many people, so why would we want to move from a safe to one that feels like chaos, right? When we are alone we can scream, cry, meditate, sing at the top of our lungs, dance like no one is watching (because they aren’t lol) or just veg out on the couch curled up like a cat. There’s no social pressures which lets you tap into your feelings and thoughts, do a deep dive into self, recharge our brains, and be creative without interference, judgement, or the pressure to be something other than who you are in the moment. Having alone time is important for growth and devlopment, especially for people who are highly creative or highly sensitive. There are studies that show that time alone led to an increase of activity in the neural circuits responsible for imagination, so when there is a lack of social stimulation, the brain’s neural curcuits increase the creative networks to fill the voids. And the facts show that roughly half of our world’s population are introverts. 

I personally need a lot of alone time as a creative empath; time to recharge, to clear energy that isn’t mine, to recenter and ground, and time to create uninterruped, so I know how it feels to want to stay in your comfort zone and be by yourself. However, I have to really watch myself because I will get to where I want to self-isolate always, and this isn’t good for human beings, as we are social creatures and actually need human interaction. Too much alone time can actually be harmful to our mental and physical health. It can increase stress and cortisol levels (which can increase inflamation), create negative self-talk and thoughts, can lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, increase loneliness (which is actually associated with high blood pressure, high cholestoral, and decreases in cognitive abilities yikes!), and some studies show that it can increase our likelihood of mortality by up to 30%! 

Unfortunately, there is a stigma created by our societies that makes us feel like crying is a “bad” thing, but research actually says that crying is just natural human response and that it is healthy for you. Crying can be very therapeutic as it provides a soothing effect that can help us to regulare our emotions, learn to calm ourselves, and reduce our distress. Our parasympathetic system is activated when we cry and this system helps us to relax, and our tears release oxytocien and endorphins which helps ease physical and emotional pain and regulates our sleep. Music is also an excellent way to increase endorphins and ease emotional pain, so kudos on finding a coping skill that works for you. Watching tv can be a good distraction when you’re expereincing some really deep emotions and can provide a good laugh to help us in those dark moments. 

I have been where you are, those moments of shadow and pain, and confusion. Please know you are not alone. You’ve made a great step in reaching out here and I hope you will continue to do that. The outside world and people in general can be scary when you are already so overwhelmed with sadness. Reaching out was part of what saved my life, so I have experienced the power of community. I didn’t understand myself and certainly didn’t know how to fix me, but what helped me the most was when I decided that in order to learn how to fix myself, I had to learn who I really was and experiencing the emotions I was feeling as they came up. There was a lot of self-reflection and building of my self-awareness, meditation, mindfulness, crying, screaming, greiving, listening to music, singing at the top of my lungs, researching, and journaling. I eventually realized that each emotion or feeling was trying to tel me something and research showed that when we, as humans, stifle our emotions, it can cause a lot of problems such as sleep problems, anxiety, irritability, fear, loss of motivation, as well as physical health issues, so there are many different health problems that can surface due to holding back tears and pushing down feelings. I spent many years bottling up my emotions and so there were times when I had to cry to release many different times to help me heal. 

Within the last couple of years I have learned to acknowledge their existence, tune into what they’re trying to tell me (and sometimes this went very deep and led me to doing inner child work and shadow work), make space from them, release them, and grow from them. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand what our body/mind/self/spirit is actually trying to tell us. Most of the research, studies, and professinals recommend things such as meditation, mindfulness, emotional bodyscans, breathing exercises,  affirmation, being out in nature, journaling, practicing communication skills-particularly listening without judgement or the intent to reply, visualization, being creative, goal setting, music therapy, setting boundaries, grounding, and even dance-therapy. 

All in all, I truly hope you know that you are not alone in feeling this way, your feelings are important and valid, and you are uniquely amazing! I’m sure you are making a difference in the lives of those people you do find the courage to interact with, and maybe even reminding yourself of this and that you can be brave, can help you to find some comfort. I know that the effect I am having on others and being able to help people is something that motivates me most days. Of course, there are also those days when I just want to hide away and enjoy my own company ;-) I wish you light, love, and laughter. 

@DawnAurora97 

Hello DawnAurora, I hear you. I have had very similar experiences and also found tv and music to be a great support because its distracted me from the reality I was living. This is not a bad thing if its used in moderation. Isolation can fuel the fire of sadness and exiting this cycle can be challenging. Getting out of the dorm room, joining clubs and societies and engaging in social activities that are built on community was quite a big help for me to step out of this loop. Expressing this on 7cups is an amazing step to take, it shows honesty and vulnerability which are very strong character traits to have! 

@DawnAurora97

I really appreciate you sharing all of this. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. It’s tough to deal with sadness and isolation, especially when you’re trying to manage school stress on top of everything else.

And using music and TV to escape makes sense. Sometimes it’s easier to lose ourselves in those things than to face our feelings.

I get that talking to therapists/doctors can be scary, especially when you don’t feel like you can trust strangers. Just reaching out here is a big step and I’m glad you did🌻

And remember, you don’t have to go through this alone, it's okay to ask for help!

@DawnAurora97 I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this tough time. I really hope that you are able to get through this. Feeling your life has no meanings is indeed devastating thing. 

Know that you are on the right place. You can look for any listener who you think is suitable for you. Chatting can be really helpful sometimes! *Sending hugs