How can I help my husband understand?
Back story: I'm 22, married with two toddlers, and we own a home. We've been together six years come Christmas Eve. I've been depressed for roughly 8 years with self harm and multiple suicide attempts as a young teen. I've had the anxiety for 3.5 years which is when my life became such a struggle. I hid it well up until last October when after 5 years of being free from self harm I relapsed and that's when I told him everthing.
I hid it so well up til then and I think maybe that's why he doesn't completely believe me. He hasn't said that he doesn't I just get that feeling when he says certain things.
My husband doesn't understand that I'm always so tired because of the fact that I'm depressed. I don't think he truly believes that I have anxiety and depression. But the truth is I used to be able to hide it so well and now I'm too tired to try.
He's always given me lectures on my sleep schedule and we've talked about it extensively and he finally dropped it. Even when I get 12hrs of sleep I'm still tired.
Yesterday was the first day that wasn't hot since May, so I took my kids in the wagon for a walk. We picked up pinecones, acorns, and yellow leaves. We had a nice time but from that little one mile walk and about 30 mins at the park I was so tired the rest of the day I could barely function. I don't know how to fix this, and I need to some how figure out a way to help my husband understand that just doing the bare minimum is exhausting, let alone trying to keep up.
@Cheshire94 First of all thank you for sharing your story. Having anxiety and depression myself it's very hard for anybody to understand, so I try to deal with it myself. The best way I think you could explain it to your husband is that symptom of depression is being tired and sleepy and not having the energy to do anything. It sounds like you have tried that already, and for that I commend you. My anxiety and depression aren't that bad but I still have good days and bad days.
You have your own little bubble when it comes to how you cope with things, therefore bringing someone in is not easy. Especially if you include the fact that you used to cut. I think opening up is a good idea, but you have to give your husband time. If he still doesn't believe you after so long, then maybe try couples therapy that way you have someone there who understands what anxiety and depression are. They could also give you different communication techniques when explaining it to him.
Please know that I am here to talk to if you need me.
Donald K
