Feeling Like a Burde n...
I don't know where to start. I got my first vaccine shot almost a week ago, & so I started looking for a job, knowing I'd need to eventually. I applied at a place a close relative used to work at & had issues with. I wasn't expecting anything from it, nor was I in a hurry because I get my 2nd shot at the end of the month, & figured I'd be available about 2 weeks after that, so I wasn't in a rush. But, they were super excited & seem ready to hire me almost right on the spot. I didn't mention anything to this family member until today-which is when I had an interview. And this person, while not yelling at me or anything like that, made it known that they didn't like it there & were somewhat mistreated. I know they are watching out for me, & only want whats in my best interests at heart, I felt like they were upset with me, & like I let them down, & they were disappointed in me. I feel like I am making more troubles for this person, more work for this person by doing this, & I'm not trying to do any of that. I know this person isn't feeling like I'm betraying them, or anything like that, it's more along the lines of they truly care for me, & are worried that the people at this job will take advantage of & mistreat me like they did to this person, & they don't want that to happen to me. I know this, yet I still feel like I am causing more drama for this person, & piling more things onto this person's already full plate...& that is making me feel worse & more depressed, & wondering why anyone cares about me, because all I seem to do is cause more trouble & drama around me...I just had to vent, & I don't feel like I can to anyone, as I feel like I'm a burden pretty much all of the time & to everyone I know...I feel like I am a bother to everyone, all of the time, so if feels good to just vent here, even though I don't expect an answer, or anything else, it just feels good to get it off my chest.