Ever wondered about this?
Not sure if this is the right place to share this
Ever wondered that we are all alone at the end, we wake up see plenty of people, friends, partners, whom we have no idea who really are they, we just see what they want us to see, and we just play along, faking everything about our lives and thoughts and feelings, to feel accepted and loved, doing things we cant stand, just because we have to other choice, and time pass by, leaving us with nothing more than an illusion we do create, losing ourselves, and freedom, for a very fake reality.
And then come our ego and self interest, giving values and meaning to meaningless worthless things, and another cycle of illusion starts again, leaving us even more lost and confused
When it's all said and done, life is just a fake illusion nothing real in it, if we do cast out our ego, self interest, and looked at real things, what is there left for us to live, (I'm here talking about me) just a miserable life, full of self hatered for being a fake, but I dont know any other way to live
Hello @WickedSick, I am sorry that you didn't get the reply faster 
Anyway, I want you to know that I feel every word of yours. You asked us if we ever wondered about this and I can tell you that I am thinking about it a lot to be honest. I believe that the world is full of the people with the masks. Maybe it's sad but we are also puttinfg these masks when we are communicating with others. Maybe it's our way to protect ourselves because it's pretty scary to show your real self to the world 
Also, you mentioned that life looks like a game. I would say that's like a game of sims, when we all are just faking our lives, we are following the rules that society built up even if we don't think that they are right. When these things are going on, it's natural to feel worthless, like you are not making any impact, like everything is just an illusion. It can make you feel lost and confused as you told by yourself. And yeah, you mentioned the self hate for faking it. I believe that it can be hard to deal with these feelings and you feel miserable. But the truth is that you don't always need to be fully yourself to be happy. Some people in our life don't deserve to see the real us because... well, they are not showing themselves for us. It's like the circle that can't be stopped, sadly
I am sorry to hear that it's been hard to live like this for you. From your post, I can see that you are going throught a lot and you mentioned that you don't know another ways to live, but we can always try and discuss them all together. What do you think could be another ways to live? To march against the system? To be trully yourself no matter what? how would it impact our life?
@RaCat
Thanks for your kind reply ❤
Well, my forum was more of oratorical rather than looking for an answer, I keep discussing the same thing with my therapist, in other specialized forums for this kind of discussions, but with no real answers, the only real answer I got is, this is how it works, take it or leave it, but I cant do either, I cant take it, nor Im ready to leave it, my therapist suggested pills to have peace of mind, but my mind refuse that option, its like surrendering to illusion, and lose myself even more there
