Envy Help
Something my mother doesn't understand is that I have the kind of depression that keeps coming back. I'm not depressed for a time, I'm depressed for the rest of my life- and normally I'm good at tempering it, so I can deal with that. I can deal with my mother not understanding my condition, but I feel envious of my little brother, because she puts so much research and time into my brother's asperger's.
For years I have had depression and anxiety and she's always questioning, "well why are you depressed?" or "well why are you anxious?" when I've told her countless times that I'm always depressed, and I'm always anxious- just sometimes less so.
But the moment she catches a whiff my little brother might have autism, she's buying books to understand and help him cope with it. And I get it- I do, autism and mental illness is different. He was born with it, and it developed in me, but I can't understand why she's putting so much time into understanding him when she's put so little time into understanding me.
Am I just being ridiculous? Do I even have grounds to be upset? I honestly don't know anymore.
It's just weird because she's an odd mix of aknowledging I have issues while simultaneously ignoring that I have issues- and I understand the difference between autism and mental illness (though they have their similarities.) I just... I wish mom would aknoweldge my needs too, I guess is what I'm saying. Am I justified? Or is this just me being a brat?
@DalliFlower of course you have grounds for being upset. Our feelings are valid, and when they're misunderstood, it has a knock-on affect. I'm so sorry 😔
I'm here if you'f like a chat ❤
Jem 🌼 (forum supporter)
I do understand and it is frustrating know this is the issue some people have when it comes underlying illness what are not seen or what are misterpted. Sounds like your mum feels, as you said, not a big issue as you make out but she don't realise that mental illness is an issue and it's just as sensitive like any other illness out there. Ok some illness are more seen then others you see they something wrong with them with it being a physical thing then just mental but it still is as a digonosed illness like any other.
So you just live with your mum and brother? Do you have anyone in your family you talk to also? If not it's ok. You don't need family or friends to always talk to. If you have a friend that be great.
I think you should first thing is speak to someone you know you won't feel judged or belittled by. You want someone who understands and can talk to on a emotional level. If you don't know what that looks like this site I think has information and advice on what it's like and feels to connect with someone on a emotional level. It might be under relationships but it will have the same meaning as what it is in any relationship.
Your emotional connections are as important if it was physically being there for someone, talking to them face to face, showing how much you care. Sometimes it can be more then just the sitting there listening to you and more of the side of feeling you can connect to them on a emotional level.
There's more on this if you read on what it's about and what you can do to get say your mum to connect with you on this level which might make her understand and her to know how she can be there for you aswell as what you want and what she wants. I agree.
You can look on 7 cups on the forums or on relationships page. You can find more information and advice on self help guides on the homepage or using Google to find out more. Wikihow is a good page too or using your local location to find more help and support online or in your area but there might be more online in your area if you have a look or joining a group chat like this one related on this.
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