Did you ever just?

Hi, I'm Luke. It's kind of a loaded question, isn't it? Did you ever just?

I'm trying to become a better person. It's not as easy. Especially when you're being pulled in so many directions. Friends, family, everyone has their input, their advice. Friends tell you that you're young, we're supposed to do these things. Family says it's time to grow up, get right with God. What do you want? Because I don't know, myself.

I drink, not every day, but when I do, wow. I like to get high, every day if I can. But I didn't this weekend. It was like my own private hell. I turned off my phone to avoid the people I thought were friends. Stayed away from family because I feel guilty for saying things I did in anger. I spent alot of time thinking, about friends, family, God, life, the future and sleeping.

I come to the conclusion that, my friends suck, my family doesn't need me, there is no God, and I'm really unsure about life and the future. I still like sleeping though. I know I'm not alone with dealing with depression, but why does it always feel that way? Did you ever just, wonder why you have depression, wonder why you can't be happy, wonder why it all seems so pointless? Did you ever just wonder why you shouldn't quit? I don't mean to sound like a wuss or childish. It's just been one of those days that feels like it's lasted years. I'm tired.