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Depression and Sexdrive

Geecat May 23rd, 2017

As someone who deals with both the effects of depression as well as the side effects of depression medication, it's more than evident that my sexual drive has been effected. Between having a partner and my own needs, this can be frustrating. Not only can the effects be on the sexual drive itself, but also how perseptive your body is to physical pleasure. To be blunt- in many cases, it can mean a possible inability to have an orgasm, or even as far as causing guilt to yourself or your partner that rather than it being a side effect - it can cause a feeling that you/ your partner cannot please the other correctly. Fear of disappointment/ feeling incompitent, etc. Has anyone else experienced such frustration? Within themselves or in a relationship? How have you handled the situation?

The best I have been able to do so far has been to be very open with your partner, consistantly re-assure them that none of it is their fault, and never - ever - fake it. No matter how much it feels like it would help, it's important not to lie, especially when it comes to intimacy (this goes for for both physical and mental).

I'd love to hear what other people could have to add to the conversation.

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Hayley44 May 23rd, 2017

@Geecat I think a lot of the tine weather it's due to the mental health or the side effects of meds. My partner is on meds for OCD and anxiety they sometimes make her loose her sex drive which is obviously difficult because you want to have that sexual connection it makes you feel close to eachother. It is worse at times than other times, I think it depends what's going on in that persons life. It can make you feel bad sometimes because obviously it's not that you don't want sex your just not feeling that . We cope by not putting pressure around it, it will happen when it happen . Best of luck to you :)

SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES May 24th, 2017

When I was a lot younger than I am now SSRIs would totally destroy my libido. I no longer take them and am weaning myself off Wellbutrin and Effexor.

My total and complete lack of libido and a sex life is now due to menopause - thankfully I am ok with it. I do however realize that someone 30 years younger than I am and with someone, that the situation would be far more vexing and frustrating. My only suggestion would be to speak to the shrink and get off SSRI meds and try SNRI ( Cymbalta is one example )

SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES June 14th, 2017

@GeecatI may or may not have the solution to your problem. I have the opposite problem but many many moons ago I experienced what you did while taking SSRIs ( you can't name individual medication or dosages on this site ). Menopause put paid to my libido over 10 years ago and you couldn't pay me to ever have sex again, but I digress.

Consider speaking to your shrink about a libido neutral anti depressant such as something in the SSNI group or one that starts with an ' L' which I heard is libido reducing neutral.

Hope that helps a bit. heart

1 reply
SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES June 14th, 2017

@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES Oh dummy me, I just realized I had already answered you and not only that I committed a big no-no and mentioned the two drugs I am coming off of. My bad

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wontwakewontsleep June 14th, 2017

@Geecat - my partner and I are both suffering and sometimes our libidos don't line up for a while. intrusive depressive thoughts are a beast. I agree with you completely about the communication and openness. thankfully my partner and I are also very open with each other, both about mental illnesses and about our libidos. at the beginning, this libido issue was very frustrating but now we are much more compassionate and patient with each other. if one of us isn't in the mood, we can still hold each other, go for a walk, remind ourselves of our favorite moments, hang out; we know the mood will strike again, even if it's not that day or whatever. maybe one day we will find a new libido balance we're satisfied with. who knows?

talktomeok June 15th, 2017

@Geecat Well I think only when you are on higher dosis of meds it could affect your sex drive decreasing it, but yes when i was on meds it decreased my sex drive so its undestandable what happend to you.