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Depressed on Christmas Eve

Journeyer December 25th, 2014

Hi everyone. I'm having trouble connecting with a listener right now so I figured I'd post about my frustration here.I'm feeling pretty depressed because on Christmas Eve last year my ex and I really clicked and had a great time, but since then they have repeatedly hurt me and I just recently stopped contact. And usually my brother spends the night on Christmas Eve and we play games and stuff but he lives with his girlfriend now so that's not happening. My heart just feels heavy. That's all really...just venting. I hope everyone else ishaving a wonderful Christmastime.

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whyme11 December 25th, 2014

Journeyer, im sorry youre feeling this way and that everyone has broken away from you and what youre used to having. Normally, i would be looking forward to calling my mom tomorrow to talk to her. I used to call her and tell her Happy Christmas or is it Merry New Year. I know its corny, but it used to make her laugh and i can still hear her. She died last year, so i cant do that anymore. I hope things work out for you and the people in your life , find some time to be able to spend with you. I hope you can still have a Merry Christmas.

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Journeyer OP December 25th, 2014

Hi whyme11. It's nice to hear from you again. Your advice from last time was really helpful, so thank you once again. :)

You have my sincerest sympathy for your loss. It must be difficult.I hope that your sweet memory brings you warmth and wish you a merry Christmas as well.

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whyme11 December 26th, 2014

Journeyer, youre welcome, i remember responding to an earlier post of yours. Thank you for your responses. Even though i found out about 6 months ago, from my counselor, that things earlier in my life that my dad did to me, were a major reason for my depression, ptsd, and other things, i decided to call him today to tell him Merry Christmas. He talked to me for about 2 minutes or less, he told me that some money that my moms death insurance policy paid him, that he said previously he was giving to me, he said went to medical bills. it could have and thats fine, but i dont believe him. then he said his family was calling him and he had to go. I didnt sexually molest him, along with other things he did to me, but oh well, i guess he just dis-owned me. thats his loss.

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Journeyer OP December 26th, 2014

What a horrible situation. It sounds like you are handling it extremely well though. It seems sometimes the best people emerge from toughest problems they are dealt. You have my support and best wishes.

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kindJackfruit76 December 25th, 2014

So I had a christmas even. It wasn't great. I need a listener for teens. It felt awkward and just lonely. Family doesn't feel like family. And I feel like I'm living a lie. I don't know what to do and I feel like lying down and not getting back up.

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lunemist December 25th, 2014

I feel the same way as you are. It's already Christmas in my timezone, my family is all hereand yet I feel so dead-lonely. Family doesn't feel like a family and my house doesn't feel like a home. I know that it's hard for us, but I hope you could find something to be grateful of. No matter how small it is. I hope you'll feel better :)

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kindJackfruit76 December 25th, 2014

So I had a christmas even. It wasn't great. I need a listener for teens. It felt awkward and just lonely. Family doesn't feel like family. And I feel like I'm living a lie. I don't know what to do and I feel like lying down and not getting back up.

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Journeyer OP December 25th, 2014

I can certainly relate to those feelings. Please do not give up though. I'm sure you will find the right listener. Have you tried narrowing your search to 'Listeners for Teens?' I also struggle being around some of my family members because they don't really know me orwhat I'm going through.I truly hope you can find inner peace thisholiday, even if it's not going so great.

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sensibleEast53 December 25th, 2014

thank you for sharing. I am in a one year depressive relapse. Last Christmas was ok. This one is horrendous. Yet, something in your post touched me. I want to extend a blessing to you. I've never been on this site until tonight (this morning). sometimes you have to lose what you have in order for the better good stuff to arrive. What do I know? Well, a little. You see, I am 66 years old. I bet I must have lived the experience you are having twenty or thirty times. One thing, though, if you are willing to play the game, you get lots of "do overs". No matter how you feel now, it is going to change. You will see. No brag, just fact. Merry Christmas, and a golden, glowing New Year to you!!!

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Journeyer OP December 26th, 2014

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your message has warmed my heart and encouraged me to continue on as bravely as I can. I am pretty sad about this sense of loss, but I alsohave hope that it is the beginning of a brighter future.

I hope that your Christmas improved and truly wish the best for you. :)

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Kea88 December 25th, 2014

My Christmas is making my heart very heavy, bad enough I have to deal with my first Christmas without my mom in my life because of her bipolar behavior, I've worked and search hard for a gift for my boyfriend and bought him a pair of dolce &gabbana sneakers. He thought he was getting a TV and looked disappointed like "oh I got sneakers instead of a TV" when he didn't realize he just got me a pair of uggs. But if I wouldn't had said anything about deserving a gift he wouldn't had gotten me shit but himself a gun. He's just so ungrateful and I'm tired of trying over and over. Bad enough our anniversary he got me a late gift and this Christmas I had to mention about earning a gift and he cries when he see my gift. I'm so done. I figure I would be happy in a relationship with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with but he is so damn childish immature and ungrateful. So my new years I'm thinking real hard because this have been The worst year of my life. I'm proud that I did not commit suicide after all the shit I've been through!!! 😢

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Journeyer OP December 26th, 2014

That does sound terrible. I know how it feels not to be apprciated by someone you try so hard to do right by. I hope that you can find a way to improve your situation and minimize the pain of it. You certainly have my support.

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limegreenCup56 December 25th, 2014

~~Hi it sounds as if you are going through periods of great change, which can be very stressful. I am posting Christmas night so I hope your Christmas was better then you thought. I think sometimes it is ok to feel a little sad there is an Arab saying that all sunshine makes a desert. I just wish I didn?t live in a rain forest!

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limegreenCup56 December 25th, 2014

Sorry I only seen the top posts

Journeyer OP December 26th, 2014

Thank you so much for your message. Change is definitely difficult, especially for me it seems. Thankfully myChristmas didget better, though a sense of melancholy still remains. That proverb definitely rings true! I hope that you had a merry Christmas as well. :)

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placidGrapefruit52 December 26th, 2014

I thought I was the only one feeling this lonely. My boyfriend and I got in a big argument that involved my family and not everything is ackward. How can i get pass this???

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Journeyer OP December 26th, 2014

Relationships can be pretty tough, especially around Christmas when we allwant everything to be good and peaceful. I hope everything mellows out for you. Sometimes it just takes time. Meanwhile, this is a great place to find support.

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placidGrapefruit52 December 27th, 2014

Thank you so much for the support it has really helped me and I believe that It is time for me to move on with my life.

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Journeyer OP December 28th, 2014

It is a tough decision to make but one that I hope ultimately leads to healing and improvement for the both of us.yes

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