Dark thoughts
I’ve recently be feeling worse and worse, over the last year it’s definitely been worse than previously. I’m like 90% sure I’m depressed but not diagnosed. Anyways the point of this post is more about my thoughts. Lately I’ve been dreaming about death. And every so often I’ll just day dream and drift into thoughts about death. I have no feelings of suicide or feel suicidal. But the thoughts of suicide are getting more and more regular. To the point where when I think about it, I feel calm. I feel peace. In the dreams I’ll just feel better once my head just goes pitch black. That’s it. It’s the end. I don’t understand why I’m getting these thoughts. As I say I don’t feel suicidal I’m just thinking about it in day dreams and real dreams. I can’t control them.
I don’t understand why I’m getting them or thinking about it during the day. And I don’t understand how something I don’t want gives me so much peace. Am I just really messed up, idk ?
@ivoryCat3815 Hi. It’s understandable that you would want your depression gone. I think your continued thoughts might not be great, but you might want to deal with the depression and see if the thoughts go away. Check this out https://youtu.be/H1T5uMeYv9Q
If it is of interest, get Dr David Burns book, Feeling Good (not his newer one Feeling Great, cuz it’s kind of cluttered, and the original seems to get to the point quicker). Pulled me out of a very depressed time, keeps me from slipping back into depression, and is simple to understand and use.
There is a lot going on in the world right now, and I think it’s expected that it weighs us all down a little more than it did in the past. But things change, we change, things can get better, and sometimes they get better when it seems really dark. It has a way of kicking us into gear and get us asking if there is a better way. You’re here asking, so 1st phase accomplished. Keep seeking, keep moving forward!
— All the best
