Can't get help for my ilness...

I have severe depression, almost suicidal. It ruined my life completely.
Last week I tried to make an appointment to a doc, but I live in a shitty country where health care is a joke, and the soonest appointments they can make is for the NEXT YEAR. And it's only february. By next year I could be pretty much fucking dead.
Only option would be private appointment instead of health care one, but it's way too expensive and I can't afford one, let alone pills or anything like that. I'm a human wreck and have no option for treatment.
Family won't help, because I barely have any family, and we have VERY bad relations. I have no friends. I'm alone in this. Fucking hate my life.