Back into the fray
I have been doing much better. Lots of therapy. Lots of learning about myself. I respond better to unhealthy thoughts, my inner adult takes charge more often when I need her. Therapist said I wasn't in crisis mode anymore - we've moved to preventative. And it's been going better. But lately I've been having cryfits again. Spending lots of time alone in the dark again. Not taking care of myself. Casual dark thoughts never left. It was just "so this is what it's like to be functioning - not enough."
I don't feel good. I don't know how to say to my therapist that my toes are in the water of another breakdown. I don't know how to say I'm tired and don't want to fight. I keep pushing but the cracks keep getting bigger.
I don't know. I just don't know
@niceAcai9918
Like Roadie said, depression can be a rollercoaster ride. Once you start to feel better, you feel safe enough to explore the dark side and it comes back. Tell your therapist before it overwhelms you. You have come so far and been so strong. I know you have the courage to take that next step. Being open and telling your therapistis how you fight back, how you overcome. You are not alone though, we are all hear to support you on your journey. Remember that, and how far you have already come. This is just another step on the road to recovery. Love and light to you hun!
