Am I depressed?
So, I didn't know what exactly depression was because nobody here cares about mental health. I just kind of overheard my mum talking to a relative of mine and she said that, a cousin of mine was depressed. She said that she observed that he wasn't speaking a day when he came to our home. So, my first idea of depression was that a person doesn't freely interact with humans around them.
May 2018 was when I first met depresion and anxiety. I don't know if that's true because I've never been diagnosed. Just a bit of what happened:
I did messed up a bully's plan. So that bully and I liked the same girl. He didn't know about me. I was a stupid 12 year old kid. So I just wrote her a message anonymously where I said about the bully's plan to propose her.
A few days later:
The bully found out about the message and I got scared. I called up some other guy (I don't want to go in much detail) and his parent heard me saying that he found out the message. Unfortunately, I didn't know that it was a parent on the other side of the phone call.
Then followed "possible" depression and anxiety. NOBODY knew except for a friend but I was still scared.
I was so scared. I cried everyday. A lot. I didn't open up even about normal things to my family. My family thought I cried just because they didn't take me to an amusement park.
Luckily, we have a Parents Teachers meeting around August and it's compulsory because they declare our results in out examinations.
Nothing happened. I didn't get called up. It was alright. I was safe.
Well, another thing happened in 2018, and maybe that just made me a better person. A two bullies sat next to me and used bad words for each other. At the end of their conversation, they said that all those bad words were for me. Unfortunately, they also said many things to my family members like my mother and my cousin. Like they don't know them but they used slangs target at them. I felt so bad that day that my usage of bad words has been minimized at a great extent. I don't say bad words to people unless I'm frustrated and I don't target a person. I use them for all who are wrong and I don't use the words in public.
Why am I making this thread?
I think in this thread I'm gonna post about stuff I'm troubled about. I made a post on my Facebook and Instagram and my parents made a sarcastic comment on it. Well, my parents are adults and possibly don't use 7cups so they don't know anything of what I do here.
Thank you for reading!
@CaptainRex
Heyyaa!!
Firstly, I'm sorry you went through all that. It sounds scary and it probably even caused disturbance in your day to day life as the thoughts increase. As for questioning �whether you're depressed, you can try seeking out for professional help if you seem to feel so. You are super brave for �sharing this though! �Kudos to you mate ;") I'm glad that it eventually got sorted out and didn't seem to carry on as much <3 �
One of the things I would like to mention is how much you developed as a person. It's not easy for someone to change their old habits and words. You did a wonderful �job and I'm super proud of you! ;'D I hope you get to experience more exicited and warm memories here on 7cups as well as in your day to day life <3 We are rooting for you!! �
Feel free to share whenever you wish to <3 I'd love to hear about the updates!!
�
@ashlyntheordinary
Thank You for your support reply. Unfortunately, they can't know about it because I feel uncomfortable opening up to them.
@CaptainRex
I understand, maybe someday you will feel more comfortable opening up with them. I really do hope they will understand how you feel and support your decisions :) <3
October 8, 2020
I will make this as colourful as possible because I just hate how limited, are the Colors in my school textbooks.
I had almost forgotten that this journal kinda thread even existed, but here I am, with another disappointing chapter of my life. 😁
The day(bad stuff) started as the history teacher began to speak of a movie (history lesson) called, Hitler: The Rise of Skywalker (Nazism)
So, I got really triggered because the teacher mentioned how Adolf killed everyone who he considered to be usekess or weak or whatever Nazism crap!
He also was a patriot and like after the world war two, the Germans kinda felt insulted and Adolf was all like, “Hey guys! It's revenge time
.”
Now the chapter wasn't much triggering until, the teacher gave us numbers on how many people he murdered we guys are kids we do get triggered. Movies are Rated R for a good reason.
anyways then I went to the kitchen because my parents don't want me to ever be alone (scary psychologist said that) because I overthinking.
Speed makes me strong. I just get such crazy adrenaline that I can't stop. Unfortunately at this stage I do not have my own car, but I have the opportunity to rent sports cars. (Edited by Forum Mentor @Mel for including links to brands). They help me, I am always confident in the quality, that everything will be comfortable and reliable.