Am I bipolar? What's wrong with me?

Only an experienced professional can help you make sense of this very severe up and down variation in your mood that you've been experiencing for such a a long time. If there are times when you feel suicidal, it sounds like it might be pretty important to get help for it as soon as you can. Your doctor can refer you to a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist, or in some circumstances you can refer yourself.

There are very successful treatments for both ordinary depression and bipolar disorder, by the way, so you certainly don't need to tolerate this condition, whatever it is.

You mention that you're not sure what's making it happen. If it's ordinary depression, then a therapist will probably be able to work with you to understand the cause and overcome it. If it's bipolar disorder, I don't think anyone really knows the cause.

@Jade225

@Jade225 I can see where these feelings and emotions can be very debilitating. I'd love to explore them with you if you ever want to talk to a therapist.

@Jade225 I'm not a doctor, but it could just be depression. From my understanding (which is very limited) depression isn't always 24/7. You might be depressed and then fine and then depressed again, which is chronic or recurrent depression. Heres is a fun article: http://www.lawyerswithdepression.com/articles/chronic-or-recurrent-depression-why-does-depression-go-away-and-then-return/