Lost at 28

Hello, I'm Blue. I've been searching, and searching, and searching the internet for days now and I've ended up here. I'm lost and I don't know where I'm going in life or how to fix the life I've found myself in.

I have been working 60-70 hours every week for the last 3 years or so (I know I'm not the only one) and it's finally taken its toll. I am 28 years old, overweight and hating myself, but with no idea as to how to turn things around. I am so tired all the time and yet I can't think of a way to work any less than I do.

Two years ago, I was testing with city police and actually made it pretty far. I got all the way up to the final test - the psychological evaluation - and was told that I have repressed childhood trauma and am socially avoidant. The psychologist recommended that I see a therapist and get help, then return to test again and I did so because I really wanted the job. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, talked through a lot of childhood issues and given medication. This helped for some time. I was feeling better and I was trying to improve my life, but was gaining weight no matter what I did. I suspected it was my birth control (taken for acne), and I have since discontinued use, but I'm beginning to feel like I don't care about anything at all.

I don't care about the job in law enforcement that I'd been working for, nor do I care about spending time with friends, looking for other employment, eating well. I just don't care. I feel disinterested and detached in the best of times and have no hope for anything to change. Nothing is fun. I feel like everyone around me just thinks I'm complaining all the time, and I probably am. Not that it would help make things better. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to end my life. I just want it to be different. I don't know how to start over.

My 29th birthday is coming soon, and I feel like my life has just been a huge waste. I want to forget all that's happened and start over and have another chance, but I don't know how I can do that and still support myself.