Feeling stuck
Hi everyone, I'm a 24 year old girl that currently studies at an art school. I don't enjoy it anymore and I haven't for a long time. I feel very stuck in where I am right now
because i really want to leave the town I live in and start out somewhere else, or travel or something, but in order to do that I'll have to get a job and save money.
The thing is I wake up every day feeling stressed out and unhappy and i spend my time trying to look for answers by reading a lot of things online about depression and low self-esteem, feeling stuck and anxiety but non of it seems to really help and I'm at a point now where I'm too exhausted to try out something new. I've been in therapy and it didn't help me. I've tried exercisingwhich does make me feel a little better but it still comes down to the same thing, and it's that i just want to leave. I don't know if I'mtrying to run away from something.
What makes everything harder is seeing so many people who I either go to school with or know from somewhere else, being really successful in what they're doing, and seeing them grow. It makes me very angry at myself that I can't be that way. I feel like a lost child almost. I also keep everyone at a distance because I know that I don't have a lot of positivity to bring to their lives right now.
When I went to university I felt really alone and everyone around me was just so much happier, it was horrible as my sister had been was so successful to. Then my sister told me that no matter how surrounded by friends or successful people seem, EVERYONE will have some feeling of doubt and feeling of loneliness, which she had a lot, this helped and I just started ignoring how everyone seemed so much more happy than me and just aimed on enjoying the things I did. Over time it helped. Is there anything you enjoy about your course? Is there any way you could have a break from the course for a few weeks and go traveling but not quit fully?
I think it's possible to take a break or find an internship or something somewhere else, but the problem with that is, my self-esteem is so low right now that every option and every idea that I have for what I could start doing, just seems like a bad idea or I feel like I'm crazy, I don't trust myself anymore I think. My thoughts really go in circles and I don't know how to break through it and that makes me really desperate because I start to feel even more stuck, in my situation and in my thoughts
When Iread your posts I feel likeI wrote it.I feel the same,I am also your age and I am studying art. I feel so stuck and looking at others drives me crazy. I know I could do better, I know I could get somewhere, take some opportunities, but I am not confident enough, I dont even have a strenght to do anything right now. I was so excited when I got to art school, and now.... I know I should be happy, but I am not. I dont talk to people, I dont go to places and even if some people try to socialise with me, I dont want to, I am just so negative and keep the distance fomr everyone... it used to be different. and I hate this.