Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?

I feel a little better today, was a bit elated this morning. that was before school. i had another Poptart for lunch..and a Twix during chemistry. Not the best choices but it's better than not eating at all. i talked to my crush today..and i wanna tell him how i feel..haven't gotten around to that quite yet. but overall I'm ok today

@lovingPine3496, I'm glad to hear you feel better today. And you're right - eating anything is better than starving. Every little thing you do to take a better care of yourself is precious, and I'm proud of you. You are doing as best as you can, and it's enough.

Sending lots of hugs!

I've had this pit in my stomach feeling all day and I hate it. I've just sat on my bed and felt empty and crap all day :'( I miss all my uni friends, none of my home friends care about me and home is just the last place I want to be right now.

I'm sorry you feel lonely, wonderful @lavenderFarm4174. With the tight sensation in your stomach it must make things difficult. I really wish this day will end soon for you, so the passage of time can do its little magic and take away some of your dread.

We are here for you, if you want to talk, lovely.

*hugs*

Thank you for your kind words @Spes, that feeling has all but gone now after I had a chat to one of my best friends just now. I admitted stuff to her that I hadn't been able to tell her for years and I feel so much better for it :)

@lavenderFarm4174, I'm so happy for you!

And proud that you've stayed proactive and choose to seek out support in your friends. Well done, lovely! ❤ ❤ ❤

Depressed. I don't want to be in this world anymore

@RoseHemlock9507, I'm sorry to hear you are in such despair, wonderful. It must be very difficult fro you to try every day.

May I ask how are you feeling today? I'm thinking about you, lovely.

Lots of hugs!

Life isn't as cheerful as it used to be...

@DatCoolKid, I can definitely understand your sentiment. I also miss the peaceful times of past, with easier breathing and joyful thoughts. Wasn't it all much simpler? What went wrong?

Love!

@datcoolkid I completely know that feel :-( the days of childhood were the happiest time of our lives. Adulthood sucks! :'(

I just want to cry. I told my best friend I didn't want to be his friend last night and he begged me to stay but I can't do it and it hurts so freaking much.

So what do u feel like doing

I am super anxious today. Not really more down than how I usually feel, but definitely more anxious.

My son came home from school today bummed about something. It wasn't anything major and he was totally fine, but that is an enormous issue for me -- if either of my kids is upset to any extent at all, I feel heartbroken if I can't fix it. And some things are just beyond my control.

Also, I have to make a phone call tomorrow (just to my care insurance company about renewal - no big deal). But I am not great with making calls like that. Or any calls at all. I can't believe how much time I spent on the phone as a teenager! Who knew years later, I would dread everything about phone calls!

I can relate...it's a huge issue for me that I can't protect my son from everything. It's so unsettling.

and phone calls? Torture. Pure torture.

good luck & be strong, cookie

Thank you... You're very sweet. Seeing your reply made me smile.

I also HATE making calls.

I don't have kids and I know this isn't the same, but I had a cat who was terrified of many things. I tried to comfort him, but in the end I had to accept that he had to find his own ways of comforting himself and he did and it was better than the comfort I could give him. But of course, if he wanted to get on my lap I was there. Again - I realise a cat is not the same as a kid.

This is really unrelated, but I had a cat and I loved him... But when I was pregnant with my first child, I think he knew something was coming and he got jealous and used to attack me! Like, literally sink his claws and teeth into my ankles!

He got a bit better after my son was born but we lost him about 8 years ago to illness.

I did make my phone call today. In fact I had to call back twice for updates. I feel pretty good that I did well with that today.

I thought that moving out, getting rid of a bad friend and going into university would make me finally be happy. I was wrong, I can't socialize and most days I just feel useless. Idk how to get help, or what i would say/do if I did get the chance.

@jklwq123, I'm sorry to hear that you feel disappointed and lonely. University life can be a very stressful experience, despite all of stereotypes. And academia often stays silent about the pressure and mental health issues.

Sending you lots of hugs, wonderful! You deserve them.

My pain . It's to much

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering, @Andrea50. Would you like to tell us more about it? Is it a mental or/and physical pain?

*hugs*

It's a horrible mental pain

I am extremely sad. I might not be fat to other people but i feel so terrible and disgusting. I hate myself and every night I go to bed crying. I hate the way I look. I can't stop eating and i keep getting bigger. I keep comparing myself to these stick thin girls but I feel do out of control of my eating. It hurts me inside so much.

I'm so sorry to hear that, @BMarie101. You feel terrible, you compare yourself with others and cannot stop yourself to feel disappointed. It's okay, lovely. You are under a lot of stress, and eating gives you a consolation, like many of us. You are just searching for a solution to ease your pain. You are hurt, wonderful, but you still reached out to us. I'm proud of you, lovely.

*hugs tightly*

Hopeless

@Cutesyjane, I'm sorry that you feel disappointed. Do you want tell us more about it?

Sending you lots of love!

I feel like disappearing from my hometown by taking the plane somewhere, and then start a new life. I feel stuck, and not going further in my life. I feel alone and lost.

For example, it's been over a year that I am waiting for the classes of an online Masters program to start. I've contacted them many times, but it's been more than a month that no one answers me anymore. I've paid everything already, a year ago. I feel that this supposedly online program is just a scam.

Else, I have my mom that can't take care of herself. I'm being more the mom to her and she does to me. My dad left the house many years ago and I am the only child. Basically, I only have my mom as a family, but I can't take her problems anymore.

Other than these two problems, I am in a stage of life where I can't be single for too long anymore for wanting my own children and building my own family. I am past mid-20s, but not 30 yet. I know I still have time to stumble upon the right guy, but the clock is ticking.

It sounds silly but I feel that my latest relationship destroyed a chunk of me, and somehow, I believe that I didn't forgive myself yet. I also think that this relationship brought me back to a darkness I knew years ago; a world where I absolutely hate everyone.

My career isn't totally on yet, because I work in arts, where contracts, if I can find them, pay the bills. I am slowly getting there, but the problem is that I don't feel motivated to do anything for now.

Life is hard since I graduated from university.

I just realized that I'm not the only one having problems that's unavoidable. I'm so grateful that you posted this, letting it all out and possibly, make other people like me wake up too that we're not alone. I know how it feels to be unmotivated yo do anything, like literally everything. I just want you to know that you're strong, that you can survive until this very moment and keep doing that. You're not alone and be stronger each day. I'm sure one day you'll find the right one, soon or some time later. Just keep on living and try to be happy, I love you 💖!

I've had college all week and Fridays are my day off.

this is my first Friday, I'm home alone, however my other half comes over later tonight.

I feel lost and don't know what to do with my day. Feeling numb and bored.

I'm sorry to hear you feel low, @coralkarinac. But your classes ended and now you can focus on a proper self-care. I hope your weekend will be relaxing, with a company of a person you love. It's nice to have support - it can makes a lot of things a bit easier.

Best wishes!

Honestly today I just feel numb. I'm just waiting for the end of the day so I can go home. I don't even know why tbh. I'll probably just avoid everyone and sleep.

Feeling numb is awful and I'm sorry your day is unkind to you, @verdantautomaton. I hope you will do something to relax, lovely. You deserve it after such a brave, long fight during the whole week.

Lots of love!

I'm sad and anxious. I wanna scream and cry and run away all at the same time. I'm reading school because I have to see my girlfriend and I don't really wanna see her because I'm just not in the mood to be hugged or kissed and it's not fair to her that I'm being like this.

But we are glad you can be honest here.

@Brokenbuttrying213 - I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Perhaps explaining these things to your girlfriend would be a good idea? After all, relationships are built around communication. It's not your fault that you're feeling this way. I hope you feel better soon! x

TW: suicide mention

I feel empty. These past few days have been really draining on me.

I feel like falling asleep and never waking. I just don't care anymore because caring about others has only ever gotten me hurt. People are cruel and people will use you for their own ends without ever considering you as your own person.

I wrote a suicide note last night. Right now I'm not actively considering it because I'm too numb and don't really know what I'm feeling, but last night I just felt angry and afraid.

Honestly it was more of a vent than an actual note. But it still helped me get my feelings out. Hopefully today I can distract myself but so far I've just been lying here in bed remembering things that hurt to remember.

@bravestwarrior, I'm sorry that you feel disappointed in humanity. I'm sorry that so many people hurt you in the past - you are worth so much more. You feel awful, and these fears and worries can really drain all of the energy. It's ok to feel tired and empty. No emotion is final.

Venting is great, and I'm glad you joint down your feelings. I encourage you to visit this website. Recently I was in a similar position as you and talking with person from there makes me feel a bit lighter. They are very kind and they give me some ideas how to tackle my own problems - that's why I recommend it. It's just a simple chat, nothing more, but it is worth your minutes.

Sending you lots of love!

@bravestwarrior - It's really good that you got all of that off your chest. I hope you're feeling better both from the letter and from talking about it here. Like @Spes said, you deserve a lot more than people treating you that way, and I hope one day you find people that treat you as you should be. I'd also like to share my own resources:

Crisis Text Line: 741-741 (Text "start")

Here's a 24-hour online crisis chat

International Suicide Hotlines

Another crisis chat

I hope you're feeling better about things soon. Please try to stay safe, okay? x

I feel awful today, actually. My best friend saw my cuts and scars on my legs and arms and now she thinks I am insane. Everything annoyed me today, everything just went wrong. However I tried, I was tired all day and I couldn't focus on anything. Today was the everything-wrong day, that's how I call it.