Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
I'm feeling better today. Sometimes that scares me too. ..
I agree with you, @Chiaroscuro1. Up and downs of our moods can be a bit scary.
But at the same time they give me hope for my recovery, because I know my despair and fatigue is temporary and will eventually pass.
What do you think about it?
Love!
It scares me to think that I can get better. I am afraid that I will then have to do a lot of things I don't want to do and there will be a lot of demands and pressure. And I don't want to be on earth and try to build a life. If I stay very depressed maybe I will be successful in my next suicide attempt and I will not have to stay here. Or I will end up in a situation where I at least don't have to be aware / conscious.
@Chiaroscuro1, I'm so sorry you feel in such despair, that the best solution seems to be ceasing to exist completely. You must feel very anxious and overwhelmed with your life. You don't deserve this sufferings, lovely.
I encourage you to visit this website and click on the "Chat Now" button. I used it myself and I can guarantee it will make a difference for you. You don't have to be in any immediate danger. There are wonderful people there who can help you ease this pain. You just need to have enough courage to connect, and then you can start to breathe.
My wonderful, you deserve so much better. You are worth all of the stars in the universe, which made particles of your body. You deserve sleep without nightmares, warm hugs, and soft music. You deserve thoughts without despair, and touch with being hurt. You don't have to suffer in silence.
Please, connect. We are here for you. We care for you. We listen.
*hugs tightly*
Thanks @Spes, this is a very kind message. Please let me apologise - I didn't mean to say that I am in danger. I just wanted to explain where my thoughts go and how scared I am to get better. I am actually not so bad. I find it interesting that you mentioned stars, nightmares, being touched and other words that brought associations and recent images to mind. Maybe something mystical is at work for my benefit after all. Thanks again. You are really supportive.
@Chiaroscuro1, don't be sorry, I'm glad that you are not in any danger. As I said, you don't have to feel dreadful to talk about your feelings. Recovery is scary, and painfully long. Chatting with anybody who can empathize with your worries can bring a lot of relief. That's why I recommended that website.
I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk, lovely.
Feeling tired, like usual. Grrr. I'm tired feeling this way.
Sorry to hear about your fatigue, @lifeclimber. May I ask you how do you like to relax?
Lots of love!
I want to be alone forever but when I do I feel lonely. So that's very confusing.
I feel horrible, bad therapy session and I opened up to my friends and showed them my inner emotion it kinda just happened and they haven't talked to me in 2 days now there parting next door singing and laughing really loud
better! finally. yesterday i cried a lot and i couldn't move. i thought i'm worthless and i wanted to eat from a can because i wanted to get poisoned.. :( it was really an awful day, but today i'm recovering from a cold a bit and i generally feel better because of it. i ate, but my appetite is really bad. i'm forcing myself to eat.. i slept, that's the only thing that's good, yesterday i was awake whole night, it was awful. i don't know what to say anymore.. new antidepressants, here i come :)
Great to hear! I wish you all the best, @FuturePsychologist2. The most important thing is to just live one day at a time. Survival is enough.
Sending lots of love!
So happy to here this! Sounds like you're on the road to recovery!
I woke up this morning and just started crying. I didn't even get a chance to get out of bed.
I'm sorry to hear that, @Hollywoodglitter. It must be overwhelming for you. Can I just...
*hugs tightly and comforting strokes your hair*
Can I make it a bit easier for you somehow?
I want to kill myself today. I am trapped in existence never really living. What is the point of it all? What difference am I making? Where can I go to escape? Stuck in this claustrophobic house in a dead town.
@Alien18, I'm sorry you feel in such a despair. We are here for you.
I can understand how hard it is to reach out in times of despair. But you have already done it. It is hard, but you still managed to do it and it was courageous of you. I'm so proud! You are fighting for so long, you are stronger than you believe. But you don't have to show inhuman persistence anymore. You can ask for help, you can receive it, and you can recover. You really don't have to suffer in silence, my love.
You want to cease to exists. I assume, it's because your pain seems unbearable, and you just don't have a strength to carry one. You just want to find a solution, to break out from this prison in your mind. Still, you're thoughts are the important indicator for something else. Even if you didn't follow on them, even if you were just contemplating death, even if you feel stronger now and think you will never go through with your just-for-fun-created plans, it's a big red flag that something is really wrong. These thoughts are signalizing that you are looking for a way to outlet your pain. No living creature wants to die, we instinctively do everything to help us cope with a given situation. But depression is sneaky and mostly uses our own brain against us.
I really urge you to visit a doctor. I think it will make a big difference to your well-being. Just go like when you're going to the dentist with a toothache - it's the same thing, just foolishly stigmatized by our society. You really don't have to suffer in silence. Asking for help is difficult, but it is worth it. Oh, how it is worth! From my own experience, I can say that it was a turning point for me. I'm still struggling, but I'm not in agony, like before. I know how to fight, and what is the name of my foe. It's a wretched life, to live with an untreated depression, and you don't deserve it, my lovely friend. Getting any kind of treatment is a difference you will feel immediately.
Please go visit your doctor. Or go to this website and make a simple call. Or if you don't like to call, chat in here. There are a lot of people who can help. Here, in this community, we can listen to you, but sometimes it's not enough.
You are so wonderful, my love. I care for you. We are all here for you. We care for you. It is hard. It is unbearable. We are here to listen. Connect with any ofe us, if you want to talk, lovely.
*hugs tightly*
@spes thank you so much, I think I will visit the doctor and your post and seeing how much you care has lifted my spirits. Thank you 💜
@Alien18, I'm so happy to hear that, wonderful!
It's okay to feel suicidal and to feel despair - it's painful and dreadful, but it's okay. You just need to seek help for yourself. We don't treat ourselves when we have a broken leg, so why should we do that when our mind is suffering? Depression is an illness, and with a treatment we can overcome it. It's highly curable.
I'm glad that you will go visit the doctor. Let us know how it went. We are here for you, lovely.
Maybe it's not so important to make a difference everyday and then feel guilty or worthless if you think you aren't. Maybe it's okay to just be. A tree is just a tree. A flower just a flower. Grass just grass. There is meaning in them just being what they are. Just be what and who you are now. You are enough just as you are.
Today I woke up and just wanted to keep sleeping I mean that's the only way to stop thinking and feeling.
@Purplestar09, I'm sorry you feel so low. Sometimes there isn't any other choice for us than to just grit our teeth and keeping hanging on until the storm will pass. It feels awful, to so hopeless, but trying every day, fighting with depression every waking hour is brave. You are brave. I'm proud of you.
Sending you all my strength, wonderful.
*hugs*
Oh i am in pain again like always and i just got done fighting with my back surgeon and he wont look at my neck when he should! I am just tired of fighting for myself when no one else will help me! No one gives a darn about me! I am just tired of being alone through all of this! My tight group of my three best friends are the only people who care about me! My family sure doesnt! 4 years and they haven't even tried to see how i was!
@passionateStrings3786, I'm so sorry to hear that, lovely. It is very challenging for you. It is not easy to feel abandoned, it must make it difficult for you to fight for yourself.
I'm glad you have your friends who support you. They sound like a wonderful people who have got your back. Would you like to tell us more about them?
Love!
I sure will= Rachel my sister who isn't blood she was the one who took care of me for 2 months after my bipolar son went nuts and beat me to with in and inch of my life! I lived in her house while she was caring for me! She was the only one who stood up for me in court when my sister was content to crucify me! I then proceeded to take care of her for 6 months after she broke her back.
Donna= I met her when she bar tended at the bar i used to do karaoke at and we became fast friends! She convinced me to move here where i am now and i never regretted it! She is the one i call when i need rides because i dont drive!
Lesliee a wonderful friend and mother she is the biggest help to me she knows what to do to help me get rid of fleas! I trust her with my cat and that says alot Q
@passionateStrings3786, thank you for sharing! I am so happy you have such a wonderful friends. All of them sound like the best support you could imagined. I am so glad they've got your back. You are worth such lovely, kind souls.
Sending lots of love!
@Passionatestrings I get how you feel no one asks how I am, and when they do I feel ashamed to tell them thinking they will think I'm a freek. Just know you are lucky to have the three friends you do have, because someone out there has no one, and we are all here for you on 7 cups. I wish the best for you in the days to come.
I just get beyond frustrated with all the doctors i have had to deal with and their uncaring attitudes! To tell me that i have to live with my numb foot and not even telling me how it got that way pisses me off so bad and then when the anger wears off the depression sets in and it gets bad sometimes! I just want to stop fighting for myself but i cant do that because i love my life and i would love to be able to do the things i used to like dance i miss that so much!
So far so good. Fewer mistakes at work today so I'm not hating myself 👍
Woo! Well done you. Just remember even if you make mistakes, you are a beautiful person :)
Good job!! I get you I always seem to be making mistakes, but hey your only human! So keep your head up you are a beautiful person, and anyone who tells you otherwise is blind, and can't see past the imperfections to see the wonderful person.
Today I woke up feeling okay. As they day went of I grew more and more tired and my anxiety was growing. Right now I feel tired but hopeful. I've been talking to more people than usual but my closest friend and I have a lot of tension between us. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night (finally fell asleep around 4am) and I had to get up at 5:30am. I have no energy or motivation to do anything but I know I have to keep trying.
There is always hope. Glad you had a good day. May there be many more.
I feel the same way. I also made more friends but am growing apart from my old friends, and I haven't sleeped much ether. It's ok though things will get better.
