why keep trying
i just got out of a really bad rut, like REALLY bad. and i thought things were looking up again.
nope.
got hit with that time of the month instantly. i have endometriosis, its agonising, i can barely think straight.
my friend and i had plans for tonight, she seems to have forgotten. or actually, she probably hasnt. why would anyone want to hang out with me? im such a miserable presence.
started eating comfort foods. im really hungry because in the past few days of feeling awful i didnt eat much at all. immediately my mom swoops in to shame me for how much im eating and what im eating, without a care that im in pain, and without a clue how bad ive been, since i cant tell her anything about my mental health as itll just make things worse. frustrated i just give her my food because i want her to shut up. she threatens my internet access for giving her attitude.
what was the point of forcing myself to get out of that horrible place i was in just yesterday, when clearly its where im meant to be? i just got thrust straight back into that headspace immediately, the universe wants me to feel like this. i might be past the point of trying to fix it again.
I know things feel really heavy right now, and it might seem like there’s no point in fighting through it. But I want you to know that you’re stronger than you think, even if it doesn’t feel that way today. Every step you take, even the smallest ones, is a win.
Your battles don’t define you, but how you keep going despite them is proof of your resilience. There’s beauty in your courage, even in the moments when you feel like giving up. You’re allowed to feel tired, to need rest, and to struggle. But don’t stop trying.
The world needs your light, even if it feels dim right now. There are people who care deeply about you, who want to see you heal and thrive. It’s okay to take it one moment at a time. You’re not alone in this fight, and you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.
Keep going, because your story is still being written, and brighter chapters are ahead.
-Agony
@AgonyInChains
thank you for your kind words. they really mean a lot to me :) i hope that you're well my friend
I'm getting to where I am well mentally and emotionally. One day at a time.