this is just a random rant. i work from home.
i have started working from home since february 2024. within these 2-3 months, working alone at home, i couldn't escape the loneliness and the crave for social connections. imagine waking up everyday to walk to your work desk within 1 inch from your bed. it gets harder by day. feels like my existence is not being validated - that's probably one of the basic need of a human being. social connection. i tried going out to the park once every weekend for a start. it cleared up my mind a bit. mother nature consisted of its greenish tree, a manmade lake, tiny wild flowers, little floating tortoises. there were also people with the same goals as i was, i think. though all the faces i passed by while jogging/running/brisk walking are unknown to me, it helps a bit to cure my lack of social connection. i wasn't always close to my family members, i don't have friends or best friend either. all my life, through my ups and downs, i have only have myself. when i cried, i only have my hand to wipe the tears. when i felt lonely, i only have two arms to hug myself. hence, i felt like i could live by ownself. not needing anyone else to rely on. i thought that would make me feel proud, hyperindependence sounds like an achievement to me. people who don't need anybody is the strongest people on earth.
despite that there were also days i craved so much of attention, validation, love and care from others. i remembered one day on my way back from jogging. despite going three laps around the lake, i slumped my shoulders down, tired of the exercise, tired of world and their challenges. a random uncle jogged over, passing by me and said "good morning!". it's like a switch, my mood suddenly boosted up like a rocket launching. it made me think of how is that possible. however, i felt instantly better from only getting the two words from a stranger. it felt like my effort of coming to the park, running to cure my depression is being acknowledge. it felt good to feel acknowledged.
despite all of my efforts avoiding to get close to my family, making friends or having boyfriends. i could not deny, human couldn't live alone. yet, realistically, i am still living alone in my bubbles. sometimes i am happy alone, sometimes i get sad alone. but it's okay. as long as i have me we will fine anywhere we go. and that's the end of my rant. if anyone is reading this, i hope you're having a good day, alone or with your family.
@lizashii
It is hard when we do not have other interactions like a partner of friends but when i did the work from home thing i found it lonely and depressing.... the office chit chat and team events cannot be replicated on zoom IMO
if you are to continue i would suggest finding another people outlet ..... if you have ever watched any of the series Alone that places people in wilderness situations totally alone and last person who does not give up wins large amount of money .... on every season most who lose gave up in not being able to put up with the lonesomeness and missing people they left behind.....
you said a couple word from a stranger lifted you.... do not wait for others to open the door for you .... speak up first and start conversations i think many people long for connection but are waiting for others to make the first step.
I felt that one.
When I was a grad student in 2017, I was doing everything on my own: going to cafes alone on the weekends, working on the project alone, and watching movies alone. I did have a long distance girlfriend at that time, but she was not able to be with me to enjoy the day to day life together.
What ended up saving me was defining a definite date for closing the gap to live together and finding an internship opportunity that allowed me to escape the lonely academic environment and meet new people and learn new things.
Your loneliness will probably not go away unless you change your situation by meeting more people or doing new things. But maybe what could help you a little bit might be talking to people using your voice and have them listen and reply to you. We all have the desire to be heard and have our existence appreciated. Feel free to check out this app called Bubblic if you think it will help you!
Loneliness, if unmitigated, can cause serious mental harm. I hope you find your way out wisely!
I felt everything you said, you described everything I’ve been going through. Im not close to family no friends stopped dating have no interest never a good experience from online dating just me and my fur babies. Being alone like this makes you feel like your the only one going through it. Most of what you said felt like I was writing this. Hugs 🤗
@lizashii
Hello,
I totally get you. I was also working from home few years back and it use to feel the same. But you know now I have to go to office back. At times I feel WFH was better. I use to get to sleep in between 😂😂. So ya, If you have the chance to go to office and work you can do that.
Also I understand your feelings/cravings for companionship,being loved, being listened, I totally get it. I still feel the same, and I know how hard it can get at times. But Its ok, This all shall pass one day. We can Just do what we can. Maybe you can go out socialize, join any groups to interact. But still I can understand if you dont wanna, if you too exhausted doing these. Thats Still Fine. ❤️
I can relate to It , so I really get what you are going through. For me Talking helps, if it does the same for you , we are all here. Feel free to text me as well in case if you just wanna talk.
At The End Its Gonna Be Fine..If its Not fine then Its not The End 😊
@lizashiiit's a wonderful story u told . It reinforces the fact that loving alone will not allow us to achieve anything. I have been a loner n I used to love that but it started creeping inside me and eating me within. It's crazy. Reading your thread woke me up from my slumber and I will act upon it by coming out of my shell.
I loved your thread . It's really beautiful