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lizashii
1 4,164 M Seeking Light 4
you only live once.
PathStep 56 Compassion hearts88 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 15, 2015
Bio

hi! i'm Liza.

i'm not new to this 7cups and have been using this platform since 2015, on and off. i am 21+ years old and currently living in the Asian country. i enjoy watching animes and playing games. i used to like reading physical books and studying. hopefully i can get back to my old hobby.

in life, i wanted to explore and do a lot of interesting things. i haven't tried go karts, haunted house or solo travelling. i dreamed to travel to countries with beautiful flower fields such as jeju, japan and ho chi minh. i also look forward to me buying my own apartment and living with a pair of cute cats. there's so much things to look forward to in life and i'm thrill to chase 'em. here's to never giving up. <3



Recent forum posts
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to stay or to grow?
Depression Support / by lizashii
Last post
 December 4th, 2024
...See more this is a vent about my work/career growth. at 27 years old, i aspire to live calmly and warmly like a candle. with little stress and pressure, little worries and failures. right now, i am grateful for i have a satisfying paying job. it is my first permanent job after being a temporary worker at previous company. i admire my job for i have the benefits to work remotely, and i got to communicate less to people, no presentations, no projects to manage. i simply work with my computer to key in data and it suits me as an introvert. i enjoy it despite the extreme working shifts hours. nevertheless, there are voices in me that sometimes want to go out out this repetitive tasks in my job scope. i admit that i am a person that gets bored easily and i am starting to feel like that after a year and half staying.  there are a lot of wishes or my bucket lists that i planned that requires money. for example, purchasing a car, owning a house and travelling abroad. with my current salary, they're achievable but they're gonna take years for me to save. while i am also a person who try to avoid financial risk by making loans. hence, i felt like changing jobs.  however, i couldn't help but to feel scared. there were little to no jobs with my qualifications even if they do, their downsides fell onto similar cons like my current jobs - working on shift hours and on public holidays. i am trying to avoid that so i can have more time with my family. i know i might need to keep searching. i also feel anxious about interviews. i've been trying to fix my resumes by learning a third language but it's still on progress and thus, there's not much i can add. while i work remotely, there is not much skills or project achievements i can boast plus, i'm not sure if they will accept my salary expectation. in my searches, most of their salary budgets are below that my current place offering. in simple word, i wanted to work stress free, remotely and less communication with people, higher salary but i am afraid there is no company that would offer this kind of job, yeah? hence, changing jobs feel challenging now. i don't really want to climb corporate ladders, i simply wanted to hop jobs so i can demand higher salary. but ah.. what else can i do if not just being grateful for what i have right now, no? because to face the discomfort of changing seems impossible to me. and my standards are ridiculous too. for living in this temporary world, perhaps it's never wrong to stay rooted at once place? for it's where home is created.  for you who is reading this and if you're facing the similar situation, i wish you all the best.
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this is just a random rant. i work from home.
Depression Support / by lizashii
Last post
 May 13th, 2024
...See more i have started working from home since february 2024. within these 2-3 months, working alone at home, i couldn't escape the loneliness and the crave for social connections. imagine waking up everyday to walk to your work desk within 1 inch from your bed. it gets harder by day. feels like my existence is not being validated - that's probably one of the basic need of a human being. social connection. i tried going out to the park once every weekend for a start. it cleared up my mind a bit. mother nature consisted of its greenish tree, a manmade lake, tiny wild flowers, little floating tortoises. there were also people with the same goals as i was, i think. though all the faces i passed by while jogging/running/brisk walking are unknown to me, it helps a bit to cure my lack of social connection. i wasn't always close to my family members, i don't have friends or best friend either. all my life, through my ups and downs, i have only have myself. when i cried, i only have my hand to wipe the tears. when i felt lonely, i only have two arms to hug myself. hence, i felt like i could live by ownself. not needing anyone else to rely on. i thought that would make me feel proud, hyperindependence sounds like an achievement to me. people who don't need anybody is the strongest people on earth.  despite that there were also days i craved so much of attention, validation, love and care from others. i remembered one day on my way back from jogging. despite going three laps around the lake, i slumped my shoulders down, tired of the exercise, tired of world and their challenges. a random uncle jogged over, passing by me and said "good morning!". it's like a switch, my mood suddenly boosted up like a rocket launching. it made me think of how is that possible. however, i felt instantly better from only getting the two words from a stranger. it felt like my effort of coming to the park, running to cure my depression is being acknowledge. it felt good to feel acknowledged.  despite all of my efforts avoiding to get close to my family, making friends or having boyfriends. i could not deny, human couldn't live alone. yet, realistically, i am still living alone in my bubbles. sometimes i am happy alone, sometimes i get sad alone. but it's okay. as long as i have me we will fine anywhere we go. and that's the end of my rant. if anyone is reading this, i hope you're having a good day, alone or with your family. 
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