oh how i long to be yours
you never will be able to understand the number of times I long to be able to be yours, to know you and to love you, and to be loved in return. the number of times I rub away an ache in my chest simply from seeing something that reminds me of what I’ve wished for and not received.
it’s not quite being in love but it’s the closest thing to love that i’ve been able to label without healing new cuts or bruises. the simple nudge and nostalgia that follows is relentless in its pursuit as life moves me away.
sometimes I’m scared that I’ll lose this but then I feel another wave of longing and am reminded that my mind doesn’t forget things as easily as I think it does.
💔💔🫶🏻🫶🏻
I have been thinking about you. How have things been going?
Sorry I meant to respond and never got around to it.
Things have been somewhat better, but it’s been a lot of downtime where there’s not a lot of things going on.
Thank you for saying that. I’ve heard it so many times and sometimes it feels like something that some people get and it’s only for the people who get lucky. We have moments where we’re not fighting or anything but most of the time it’s not a ton of conversations and we’re not on our own. (usually brothers around)
I don’t think so. It’s mainly about how I don’t have my license and am not as into the idea of driving, because if I could drive myself she’d be fine with it. She also has said that it’s about the ‘community’ aspect and my brothers are involved in the local things where this other church is.
How are you hanging in? I know I’m a little off balance with the new year and it seems weird to be in 2025. @bestVase7265
Yes, it is lots of downtime with the holidays. Now we will start into being busy again slowly but surely.
I am sorry that the family situation still isn't as you want it to be. I am not sure it's luck or not. I think most families look different in public than they really are when they are at home together. Everyone has some anger and resentment going somewhere because we all treat our families the roughest.
I too feel a little off and anxious going into 2025. The first two days have gone okay but it is a little like waiting for the rough stuff to start. But I am trying to not look too far down the road. My resolution this year is "don't rush". So things don't happen immediately and I have to wait. I am going to try to relax into that.
Sorry about the church thing. You might consider trying to pick up the driving. You deserve to have some more freedom from feeling stuck. Driving does help with that.
@StarrySkies1236
Sorry. Been in a funk for a while and couldn’t find the right words. I hope your first two weeks have been better than mine. @bestVase7265
I am so sorry. When you are ready, vent a bit here. It is better than having it bounce around your head.
Sending lots of strength and peace. @StarrySkies1236
Know that I am still thinking about you. No need to reply. @StarrySkies1236