it’s very tiring
TryingToBeTamed
October 17th, 2022
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- i hate doing this and it’s so annoying but sometimes i think just maybe it helps. i had a *good* day today, and i actually liked how i looked, which isn’t often. at night i just have these attacks from myself at myself and i don’t know what to do. i had a panic attack when 4 different people were asking me how i was doing which made me look at all of my socials to see if something got out or anything about me, which i was doing the leg twitch, heart beat was faster than jesus himself. i do this thing where during the day i convince myself that these feelings aren’t real and i’m just making this up, which in a sense makes me feel better bc i don’t have to break down in front my my family and friends, but during the night is brutal. it’s an entire days worth of emotions i have to process before sleeping. i’m normally staring at my ceiling for an hour contemplating life which honesty just sucks. i hate what i do and i want to stop but i just don’t know how. ugh i’m just so tired.