help
So it's my younger daughter's birthday today. She's 3 years old! And I didn't know you can be looking forward to it and at the same time having your depression episode 🤦♀️
Sorry for venting here but I think I really need it right now. And sorry for the cursing.
On top of this it's the second week since I'm sick with this sh*tty covid-like illness, tired of coughing all the time, my period started yesterday so my belly hurts like ***, I have cramps all over my body from the (not yet diagnosed) tetania. And yes, even your neck and face muscles can hurt. Everything hurts. Maximum magnesium doses are not working anymore.
How th do I get out of it so I can properly focus on her birthday party today evening? I'm really trying. I try to take care of myself today, having a hot bath, drinking a lot of tea, eating properly, telling myself it's alright and it will pass, resting a lot, having a no-working day despite of having a lot on my plate until the next week. I want to enjoy her birthday fully, I really want to. I just don't feel the happiness I should be feeling. I should be happy and I'm crying instead. I wish there was some fix switch that would make me all right at least for this day.
@mish3l
depression is a very cruel thing as there is no on or off switch and important milestones or events are sometimes either missed or not fully enjoyed. The we tend to blame ourselves about not being our best for a B-day or any other event .... that guilt and worry seems to be food for the depression.....
the fact is we will not be able to be our best even when we really want to ..... and we need to not let that make us spiral .
@mish3l Thank you for writing about it, good step towards sharing and opening up about your challenges with us. It is understandable to feel overwhelmed with caregiving duties, illness, and emotional struggles all at once. I get that this is a difficult time with many challenges coming together. But you are doing your best to take good care of yourself through rest, nourishment, and self-care - that shows real strength. you doing your best to make it special for your daughter despite everything, and that speaks to your deep love and care for her.