feeling depressed

i've been trying a few different things ever since my best friends dumped me and i'm socially isolated.  joined 7 cups, trevorspace, and tumblr.  i've been on trevorspace (ts) over a month and tumblr over a week.

i thought i was making friends on ts but i dunno.  i shut off notifications that were just people i was following posting things, and i realised i never really have anybody message me.  they used to but now nobody's talking to me or has responded to my last messages so i don't know.

and it hasn't been that long on tumblr, but i have gotten a lot (or what i consider a lot, <100) likes overall, which at first was kind of self esteem lifting, but i kinda noticed that it was mostly my posts about being an otherkin and not so much the ones where i kinda just expressed deeper stuff more.  it just kind of feels like people are only liking the things they can relate to in me, or like the idea of.  i dunno.

i have a really severe fear of abandonment so maybe i'm just being paranoid.  i've been feeling really *** for a long time and my medication isn't helping.  my therapist isn't helping either.  i feel trapped in my life as a minor and have no hope things will really get better enough that it'll be worth staying alive.  maybe i'm just wasting my time, waiting to see if good things happen.