Using this website is a form of self-sabotage

I had a breakdown on Tuesday that led to me posting obsessively on this site- because instead of moving on and doing what I needed to do in my life, of course I found a way to further sabotage myself. I deluded myself into thinking this was a productive use of my time. I felt a momentary thrill with each response and each heart and I got addicted to the feeling and I've been using 7cups more and more since Tuesday and now it's Saturday and I spent all morning and parts of my afternoon and now I'm back again on this website because I was craving the attention and the idea that other people needed me and I needed the validation and that sense of purpose and now...my family is screaming at the TV screen at some football game and it's jarring my nerves. I'm drinking again. I had a to do list and the things that are most meaningful to me- they didn't get done. I've been sitting in this chair most of the day. I wake up each day thinking that today will be different but then it never is. I want to shove a knife through my eye and be done with all this. This isn't therapy, this is just social media dressed in corporate positive affirmations and ***. Everyone here is pathetic.