Trapped in Bed: Sharing Experiences and Hearing Yours
ever had those mornings, where getting out of bed feels like an impossible task? Let's talk about that!
The goal of this post
I wanted to use this opportunity to vent and share my experiences with being stuck in bed and start a discussion about how you all might be able to motivate yourself to get out of bed in the mornings. Hopefully, there will be others who will either feel understood and heard because of the shared experiences, or they might find some of the suggestions that worked for others useful for themselves.
My background
I've been diagnosed with dysthymia (which is also known as Persistent Depressive Disorder) about eight years ago, but have been feeling the effects of that for many years prior to that. Before receiving that diagnosis, this meant that I've slowly but steadily lost interest in everything that was once fun to me, distanced myself from nearly everybody, and struggled to nourish myself. Now, after learning how to live with this disorder, I'm able to have longer periods of time in which I'm able to enjoy life, even if my depressive mind might still be nagging. However, there will be depressive episodes that can last from a couple of days to several weeks.
What it feels like for me
During depressive episodes, the hardest thing for me to do is to simply get out of bed. My limbs will feel leaden, and my body feels like it's paralyzed. Usually, I'm stuck in bed for about half a day. At its worst, I'll spend several days in bed, relying on other people to take care of me and help me feed myself and drink enough. Thoughts in my head will make me feel like a waste of space and resources, and incredibly hopeless about the future.
There are so many things I'd love to do. Learning to play the guitar, spending quality time with my girlfriend, my friends, and my family, learning to speak French, playing video games, climbing, and so much more. Yet, getting out of bed is crucial to make any of that happen. This often makes me feel like I'm lagging behind in life because I'm wasting so much time with not being able to do anything but struggling to even survive.
What helps me to keep going
Overall, the people around me are what mostly keep me going forward. Especially my girlfriend helps me a lot in finding ways to believe in myself again and to try my best to take action against depression. Knowing there are people who care about me and pushing through depression, even when my mind tells me I'm not worthy, can be empowering.
Choosing tiny tasks that I might be able to do can help. Sometimes that's taking a shower. When that's too difficult, even drinking a glass of water can be a goal to set for myself. These tiny goals can help me to feel like I've accomplished something, like I've taken a step forward.
Lastly, remembering what I've already accomplished in my life and trying to imagine what I could do if I keep that momentum, can help me as well. Most of the time, I'll need another person to help me with this, but it can give me so much hope to want to try my best.
Your turn
That's why I'd love to ask you all some questions to hear from your experiences as well:
Do you have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings as well?
What does that experience look like for you?
How are you dealing with that?
Feel free to share your experiences, tips, or any resources that have helped you along the way. Let's support each other through this journey.
I'm dealing with this problem 😞
@cautiousVixen
Do you have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings as well?
Quite a bit actually, but the reason depends on the day. Sometimes I just don't ever feel rested so I end up laying in bed for hours on end. While other times I just feel emotionally dead, so there doesn't seem to be much point in getting up.
What does that experience look like for you?
Having no energy despite sleeping for hours, my whole body feels really heavy and just floppy. I don't know if that's a good word, but I try to get quality sleep but it doesn't seem to work. Then, on the flip side I may just feel like what's the point? Is me getting up going to change anything in my life? Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough so on days like that I think what's the point of getting up I don't do anything when I am up so maybe I should just stay in bed.
How are you dealing with that?
Lots of alarms. Lately, I have been trying to take my health more "seriously". Working out, eating healthier, and meditating. I follow schedules very strictly, which is why I usually don't use them because I little too obsessed. So, I gave myself 3 big tasks to do in a day and no matter what I have to finish it before the day is over. The time is flexible but the task needs to get done. Working for example, I can do it at night or in the morning but I have to do it. Except on my rest days. Overall, I think it was the discipline that came along with exercising and eating right that helped me better my sleeping patterns. Still, have trouble but it's more manageable now.
@JollyRacher
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us as well!
Both not having enough rest and feeling emotional exhaustion are totally valid. Still, it sucks that they can lead to being stuck in bed. It sounds like you might even feel a pointlessness in getting up at times.
Having your body feel that heavy despite trying your best to get enough quality sleep sounds super frustrating, to be honest. I can see how that might be difficult to deal with already.
Additionally, you seem to be unsatisfied with what you achieve in a single day. This then seems to lead to you not wanting to try anymore. I can absolutely understand that hopelessness and giving in to staying in bed instead.
It's great to hear that setting tasks for each day and focusing on your own well-being seem to work out for you! It definitely seems like those changes helped you to get better - even if it might not be perfect. I'm so happy to hear that for you!
On most days I'm not depressed but I do have severe anxiety. I want to stay in bed, wrapped in the covers and being cosy and not wanting to engage with people. Few things that help me get up though slowly:
1. Progressive relaxation: slowly moving my muscles one at a time starting with wriggling my toes and ending with lazy stretches. This helps me with getting some energy in and losing sleep heaviness.
2. Positive self talk: I have a conversation with myself like I'm my own best friend.
3. Meditating: I usually start with affirmation based early morning meditations from YouTube.
Basically with my anxiety, I try to make myself feel calmer and safer. Then I pick a very small task that makes me feel accomplished.
@blueskygirl25
Ah, I didn't realize this to be a problem when it comes to anxiety as well. But it definitely makes sense, given that one might want to avoid the situations that cause the anxiety in the first place.
All the better that you found a couple of things that have helped you to deal with wanting to stay in bed. I feel like each of the tools you shared is incredibly valuable and might help somebody else who's struggling with being trapped in bed too!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and what works for you!
@cautiousVixen
Hey friendo
I'm dealing with something similar as well. It's hard to get out of bed. And when there is no visible force that's keeping me from getting up and get the job done, I usually end up blaming myself. For not being disciplined enough or energetic enough despite getting enough sleep. Even when I manage to get up I feel so tired, body feels heavy, even thinking feels like a task. Brain feels foggy, and doing simple tasks feel like trudging through a muddy swamp.
As you mentioned i have many hobbies too, like drawing, writing, reading, playing piano, walking, running, playing chess, watching a movie. But I just can't bring myself to enjoy them, or anything at all. I feel the need to present myself to be likable and energetic, because I'm afraid if I keep looking tired, half zombie-like then no one will like me. So I try to be happy, do things that will make me happy, sometimes it works, most times it doesn't. Somehow i'm numb to all of it. And I'm just tired. So, so tired.
My current financial situation doesn't allow me to take time to rest, I have to keep going. Along the way I feel my mental health deteriorating, but all I can do is cope with it. Sometimes I think of myself as a machine, and like a well oiled machine I just have to keep rolling. No emotions, no feelings, no nothing, just a mindless automated work machine.
Happiness... When I see people smiling and laughing, I feel a little jealous. What do they have that I don't that makes them smile like that? Am I broken? Will I ever find the strength to laugh and be happy?
@sadoko
Thank you so much for sharing your detailed experience with us as well!
It seems like you're struggling with the same issue as most of us in this thread - that getting out of bed sometimes is just impossible. However, it sounds like you're incredibly hard on yourself whenever that happens. I totally understand that our minds can wander off in that direction quite easily. Feeling guilty and shameful for not being able to get up is quite common in that case, I think. How do you tend to deal with those thoughts?
I hear you about everything feeling like it's too much. Unfortunately, that is what mental health issues, especially depression, can entail. What usually helps you to deal with your mind and body being sluggish like that?
Wow! Those definitely are quite many wonderful hobbies to have. I can't even begin to imagine how frustrating that might be to not be able to enjoy them anymore. For how long has that been going on for you already?
It seems like you feel the need to put on a mask in front of other people, as you're scared they wouldn't want to put up with you anymore if you didn't. I can understand that sentiment. After all, it's a valid fear to have. Yet, I can imagine that keeping up that energetic attitude must be quite draining to keep up.
I like that analogy of being a work machine without emotions! I'm sorry to hear that you're finding yourself stuck in that situation. Financial struggles can definitely limit us in that regard. What rest would you be looking forward to if money wasn't an issue?
Oh, I can definitely understand the jealousy of other people's happiness. At times, it can feel incredibly unfair. Other times, it's like you mentioned, that we're feeling broken. You even sound like you might be feeling hopeless. Can you remember when you've laughed the last time?
Once again, thank you so much for sharing your experience with it all! I think they were quite insightful, and I can relate to most of your experiences quite a lot! I hope that things will get easier for you as time progresses.
It is definitely not easy . I am facing the same issue too. After spent more than 39 years try to find a solution for it 。 I still could not find any permanent solutions . I found all proposal / solutions written are work . But the most difficult part may be is in the real world. : how to motivate our self wake up , go to act in the real world ? Do the environments ready support us or it is not ? Without their support how could we still wake up ourself ??? The world is in more crisis now . World war may be happen near future or may not but the opportunity looks like more higher than before ………….
@sensitivePark5608
Realizing how much despair there is around the world, I can totally understand how all this weight is acting as an additional weight to push you down when trying to get out of bed in the morning. It's absolutely valid that you're feeling this hopelessness. It can be difficult to motivate yourself to get out of bed when everything around you seems so bleak.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling with all of this for so long. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult and frustrating that must be. You've mentioned that most suggestions here work, but that the surrounding environment is still making it difficult for you to get up out of bed.
When you get out of bed at some point - what's usually the reason that leads to you getting up?
How does the state of the world impact you personally?
Yes I have too but I have lot of sweets n I become energetic
@cautiousVixen
Thats my every morning
@adaptableYard5587
It sounds like you're struggling with this quite frequently. I'm ever so sorry to hear that. Already dealing with that for most of my mornings is difficult. But having to deal with it all the time must be extremely frustrating and exhausting.
How does it usually make you feel when you're trapped in bed?
Are there things or actions that help you to leave the bed sometimes?
I'm looking forward to hearing more about your experiences too!
@cautiousVixen I'm only in middle school, in 8th grade. Most days I have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning just to get ready in the mornings and get to the bus stop on time but I hate getting up in the mornings. Most of the time it's like my legs and arms are jelly and I just can't move. So I set one goal for myself every day. Give my girlfriend a hug after school. This keeps me getting things done and actually showing up for school. I love my girlfriend so just getting a hug after school makes my day better
@courageousTown6475
I still remember that having to get up on a similar time when I had to go to school felt almost impossible. I can understand that your body feels so uncontrollable that you just can't move any parts.
Oh, our partners can be absolutely wonderful in helping us with these struggles! I'm very glad to hear that your girlfriend is helping you with that.
Setting goals sounds like an interesting way to motivate yourself. May I ask what kinds of goals you tend to set yourself to help you get out of bed?
Either way, I'm wishing you all the best, and I hope that you'll be able to continue using methods like these to help you.
@cautiousVixen
Hello. I am a high schooler who has constant sleep struggles. I've had these issues for about 8 years now. It starts with me staying up late. I don't stay up late out of consciousness, my body just doesn't get tired until 2 AM. Once I do fall asleep, I do sleep through the night, however, the sound of my alarm in the morning ruins my mood. Getting up is always awful since I was up all night, but I can't help it! I've never tried medication or told my parents about this issue. For years, it's just been something I've gotten used to. During the day I'm surprisingly not tired. I don't understand how my brain and body can function with only a few hours of sleep but my lack of sleep hasn't affected my grades, mood, or physical health (not sure about mental though). Hopefully, this will touch someone else as well! - Kenz
@xKenzieGotNoLifex
Thank you for sharing your detailed experience with everyone! I too hope that somebody is able to relate and feels heard when reading this.
Oh wow! Dealing with sleep problems like that for such a long time must be awful! I can see how that makes getting up in the morning extra difficult, and also how the alarm in the morning must be devastating.
I can understand that it must be difficult to tell your parents about it. After all, we don't want to be judged for something we cannot control. What do you think would need to happen for you to feel comfortable telling your parents?
Our bodies can be quite amazing when it comes to getting accustomed to circumstances that aren't ideal. I'm glad to hear that your body isn't letting you down despite the lack of sleep.
@cautiousVixen Yes. Thank you! Not sure about letting them know. If I were to, it would have to be detrimental for me to have a reason to let them know.