Tired
I'm just so tired. Tired of feeling depressed, tired of feeling like I'm never enough, tired of trying. I have no desire to go on, no family left that actually seems to care about me, no reason to keep going. Ever since I was a kid I've struggled with mental health issues. I've been on every medication in the book, seen more therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists than I can count and here I am still struggling. I just don't want to do it anymore, can't drag myself out of bed most of the time. The only shining light I see in my life right now is my wife, I'm sticking around for her. But I feel like I need to want to be here for me. It's strange that I am so terribly afraid of death and the uncertainty that comes with it, but at the same time I almost welcome it.
I know these feelings can't last forever but it's hard to see past them right now. 💔
Hi @VintageDougers,
While I can't make you feel a million times better (I would like to if I could), I can tell you that you are valued. You are loved, and believe it or not, you have made a positive impact on many, many people's lives. I feel for you, and something that has helped me on my darkest days is thinking about things I can look forward to. I hope you get at least a little bit of the positive energy I'm sending your way, (: Best of luck, and remember you can be everything you want to be and more! I'm rooting for you.
@VintageDougers Many of us like you go through this feeling of depression. I want you to start with something small, write yourself a letter once a day every 2 - 3 days. In that letter start with what problems you're going through, what you hope, what you like about yourself. Allowing yourself to share out your thoughts to yourself gives this sense of self closure. It's something I do here at 7cup that helps with me. Listen to audio speeches of hope, happiness, and wisdom. AS you keep going, one day you'll find yourself having small improvements, not major, but a small change is enough for a pathway of growth.
It is really hard in the moment because you know the illness is permanent. But you have learned stuff over the years that does get you out of the hole more quickly. The hole itself sucks but you will find your way out. Think about what has worked in the past. It will get you beyond the negative voices again @VintageDougers
Thank you very much
I hope that today was better. @VintageDougers
Friend - not you nor I'am going to leave this earth soon (d i e). I read you're afraid of that. I'll tell you that you don't have to! I know Jesus Christ who sais in the Bible: John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." So if we believe in the work He did on the cross for us, we don't have to be afraid to meet the life after the life we have here. And - there will be no sickness there.