The Joy that is like ice still trying to find comfort and warmth

I am not sure what I am feeling these days, months and years. I have no friends or associates. I work remotely and I’m in chronic pain daily. I suffer from arthritis in my knees, hips, and other health conditions and I am relying on a cane for support each day with balance issues. I miss being in the physical work space as my supervisor believes in taking care of yourself. It’s a struggle to not have the strength and energy as I had many years ago. I will be 60 in a couple of months. I am in pain for sitting long periods of time or standing. I have to limit some activities but I do need to lose weight to better manage my weight. Which is another task that is not easy when you have mobility issues or just not inspired or motivated to do this. I just became a grandma for the second time and it has not been easy as I can’t really do a lot with my grandchild due to my balance issues and chronic pain this saddens me. I don’t have any friends just my family that lives in my household. I work daily from home so it’s challenging to find space to socialize as I am always exhausted. I will retire in five years which I can focus more on my health, being apart of some social groups, being apart of my grandchildren life more. But today, I am relaxing and watching movies which gives me some peace before I start a new work week. This is a normal routine on the weekends. I do go on walks but long walks is a struggle. I had a bad fall in 2024 and my life took a drastic change which lead to my arthritis being inflamed and the pain has not gotten better till this day.

I just needed to get things off my chest. Hoping someone can relate to my story.