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courageousLemon182
1 1,252 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 29 Compassion hearts154 Forum posts44 Forum upvotes118 Current upvotes118 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceOctober 19, 2021
Recent forum posts
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Am I being too sensitive or just paranoid?
Depression Support / by courageousLemon182
Last post
 Thursday
...See more Here’s the situation. It’s complex perhaps it’s just me or I have some problems. I live with my daughter, two grandkids and her partner and her dog . I really have some reservations about her partner. Why? I personally feel that he is not very supportive. Why? He works, he takes care of their newborn daughter, he forgets a lot when he is asked to do the smallest chore in the house. He walks the dog but he does not feed him. I feed him which makes no sense if you walk him in the mornings it only takes a few minutes to give him food and water. He sleeps a lot when the baby sleeps so I get this as he cares for her while mom gets much needed rest and mom breastfeeds her child as well. He has two families. He is divorced with one child with his ex wife. He has two dogs for many years that still lives in the house with his ex. So he goes there daily to walk and feed both dogs. In his divorce decree the dogs can stay at his ex wife house for a period of time which is running out.  Problem: we are living in an apartment that only allows one dog. My daughter and him are working on moving into a house that can accommodate his two dogs and our one dog.  Problem: or perhaps it may not be. We are trying to get a loan through a realtor. My daughter’s credit is a disaster. Her partner credit is outstanding and mine is okay room for improvement. So we agreed to do a loan application with just him and myself. All of this is such last minute as he failed to work through this with my daughter last year. Now they are rushing. This last minute thing is unacceptable and I am ***. However we must move by June which I am hoping things will work in our favor.  I still have some thoughts about him because he feels that taking care of his newborn baby and walking the dog is so difficult and it’s all he can do. Problem: my grandson who is 14 years old. My daughter partner takes him to school every morning before he goes to work. He struggles to get up each morning and rushing to leave to get my grandson to school. Unacceptable  He does not spend quality time with my grandson as he is spending more time with the new baby and providing support to my daughter in a strange way which he lack empathy and compassion. Sometimes the support he provides is nerve recking.  Example: my grandson wanted to go outside and slide in the snow. I was working and I was in chronic pain to take him. His mom was breastfeeding the baby. Her partner was not doing anything. I was hoping that he spoke up and said sure I can take him outdoors. That did not happened. Therefore I asked grandson to go outside as we will be watching him.  My grandson has some medical issues but he can enjoy playing outdoors he just wanted to have someone with him.  I often wonder if I was not living here will he do more. Otherwise I am doing a lot as a mother and grandmother.  My daughter feels comfortable with her partner doing certain things around the house. She will not allow him to other things. Okay I get it as she has been mistreated and taken advantage in the past therefore she will not lean on any man for anything. So, I am catching everything that she will not allow him to do. It’s very sad.  I am so tired mentally and emotionally. It feels like I am taking care of three children and our furry friend. Her partner fails to understand her needs, feelings as she is struggling with some medical challenges. I feel he is not supportive of her feelings and he fails to educate himself about her medical challenges which makes her feel stressed.  My household is very complex.  I’m approaching 60 and this is not easy for me.  My daughter is also in college, works full time, full time mom for two children. I have no idea how she is making this work. But I know for sure it’s very stressful for her but she is not the type to give up regardless of the struggles as she want to make a better life for her children and she wants to mold her partner into a stay at home dad and help him with a business of his own. I’m not even sure if he will appreciate all that she is doing to prepare for a better future for them all.  I’m sorry if this is long but I needed to get this off my chest. It saddens me as I write this and tears are falling down my face. 
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The Joy that is like ice still trying to find comfort and warmth
Depression Support / by courageousLemon182
Last post
 Sunday
...See more I am not sure what I am feeling these days, months and years. I have no friends or associates. I work remotely and I’m in chronic pain daily. I suffer from arthritis in my knees, hips, and other health conditions and I am relying on a cane for support each day with balance issues. I miss being in the physical work space as my supervisor believes in taking care of yourself. It’s a struggle to not have the strength and energy as I had many years ago. I will be 60 in a couple of months. I am in pain for sitting long periods of time or standing. I have to limit some activities but I do need to lose weight to better manage my weight. Which is another task that is not easy when you have mobility issues or just not inspired or motivated to do this. I just became a grandma for the second time and it has not been easy as I can’t really do a lot with my grandchild due to my balance issues and chronic pain this saddens me. I don’t have any friends just my family that lives in my household. I work daily from home so it’s challenging to find space to socialize as I am always exhausted. I will retire in five years which I can focus more on my health, being apart of some social groups, being apart of my grandchildren life more. But today, I am relaxing and watching movies which gives me some peace before I start a new work week. This is a normal routine on the weekends. I do go on walks but long walks is a struggle. I had a bad fall in 2024 and my life took a drastic change which lead to my arthritis being inflamed and the pain has not gotten better till this day. I just needed to get things off my chest. Hoping someone can relate to my story.
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A Letter to My Late mother
Grief & Loss / by courageousLemon182
Last post
 April 6th, 2024
...See more Today your funeral services were beautiful.  I never had the opportunity to say how amazing you are for always being there for me.  We had a complex relationship and there were many paths that I took that we didn't see eye to eye on. However, it warms my heart to hear that despite these differences, you were always there for me and believed in me. It's evident that I loved you deeply, and that your memories will continue to live on through your children and grandchildren. Losing a loved one is never easy, and I know that you are in a better place and no longer in pain. Please know that I always loved you.  May you rest in peace and I hope that you forgive me for being so distant from you our distance has many things that are difficult to understand but your love and kindness will never leave me but it will continue to live on. Thank you and I love you, Mommy. 
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My mother passed away today
50 & Over Community / by courageousLemon182
Last post
 April 21st, 2024
...See more I'm feeling sad as my mother just passed away today at the hospital from a rare form of cancer. Please keep my family in your thoughts. My grandson was close to her and he is not taking this news well. Thank you for allowing me the space to share. It's difficult as her birthday is two days away.
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Hello
50 & Over Community / by courageousLemon182
Last post
 March 27th, 2024
...See more I'm new here and just learning how to navigate through some amazing chat sessions on this site. I have some good days and some bad days, however, just trying to stay focused and learn ways to manage my anxiety and depression.
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