Socially Incompetent
Hi,
I am socially incompetent. I think I have ADHD and social anxiety but I am not 100% sure. I keep getting told I am selfish by my family and others and would like to improve that, advice on fixing that would be really appreciated. My friends have told me I am emotionally draining/tiring and I don’t have a clue how to fix that. I am also terrified everyone will leave if I annoy them enough, but they have also told me that I am annoying them because I am so clingy. I also am terrible at social cues and never say the right things, but I am observant and tend to notice things that I guess no one ever does that just weirds them out. I am also a very touch oriented person, but I frequently overthink things and never know if it is enough or too much. People tend to not tell me because they don’t want to offend me or just want to be nice, but I don’t know how to improve.
Please help me, I just need advice on being a better friend and a better person.
@smiles005
You actually sound like a really cool person because you notice things others don't (intuitive) and you don't sound selfish to me because you're wanting to become a better person for other people, kind of the opposite of selfish.
So besides those good things i'll guess this: If they say you are emotionally draining then think of the opposite of draining: Use your intuition to figure out what ENERGIZES each of the people who you want to keep as friends! What kinds of words energize them? Then just send each of them a short and sweet text with a quick energizing message custom for them, just one short little sentance or a picture or a link to a song, and don't keep going and going and don't request anything unless its a real emergency for a month so they can start realizing that you've changed from 'draining' to 'energizing'. Same thing in person, what energizes each friend in person that you could do in just a few seconds without it being over the top or clingy when you see them next? Don't go forcing a hug unless they obviously want to, and if they hug or touch you just practice making it short and sweet so they want to hug you again!... And if you can't think of an energizing idea for somebody pray for a good idea why not? Sometimes I pray and I get good ideas about being a my friends that help them alot! You've got the intuition so use it💪⭐
I mean they must also know there are really cool things about you too because they keep you around, so just change your image a little bit from clingy to quick and drainer to energizer! I think you are closer to awesome than you think!